Hetalia Randomness

Evil

Stop with the "dirty 1!p Hetalia secrets," okay guys? I mean, they're okay once in a while, but be original when they're secrets or whatever. I love Hetalia secrets stories, but why do they always have to involve France's Eiffel Tower or Ukraine's boobs?

I give you: The next [insert number between this and 3] chapters of: "Evil 1!P Confessions!" Featuring

• OC's
• Nations
• Micronations
• Fems

Okay! To the Evil Secrets part 1.

- World Meeting -

"Dudes, remember that time when we found a dead body in the stove?" America said. France and Poland nodded slowly.

"Well....I kind of have an evil secret myself." America continued.

Canada and France gasped. England yelled at America. Italy cried for Germany. "Tell." Said Japan.

"One time, I ran someone over," America sighed.

"Details, da?" Russia said to Alfred, who buried his face in his hands.

"Well, there was this guy who once stole England's wallet," America said. "Two years later, I happened to be driving when I saw the same guy with England's wallet! So I chased him with my car and ran him over." America said.

"What the F'ck?" Canada cursed. "What the actual-"

"Matthew." France growled.

"It's fine, really," someone said in a monotone voice. They turned around to see Alberta, a smirk wide on his face - an evil one. "I have one much worse than that."

"Oh, shit, no." Manitoba said, "don't you dare."

"One time," Alberta said, even more monotone than before, "Manitoba was being really mean to me. He made me extremely sad. Once I got over this sadness, I beat him up every time I saw him. Most scenes were pretty bloody. The end."

Canada looked at Alberta: His own province? Bullying someone? But, why?

"So you want to pass bullying as a crime?" Manitoba said to his brother, a suspicious tone in his voice. Canada gulped in fear. "Let's not get too carried away, Manitoba," he said nervously.

Manitoba slid his fingers over his brown hair before continuing. "See that moron over there? Matthew Williams? The d'ckbag?" He pointed to Matthew. France slowly uttered a "maybe."

"Well, I rioted against him." Manitoba said with a smirk. "Violently. I threw things. I burnt things! I beat things to pulps!" At this point, Russia was laughing his head off, rolling on the floor.

"You don't even have a weapon." Russia said.

"I obviously do, douche." Manitoba shot back at Ivan.

"No."

"Shut your mouth, you commie f'ckbag!" Manitoba screamed. Then what happened terrified everyone. Russia grabbed Manitoba by the shirt collar and dragged him to a separate room. Screams were heard from said room and, in a few minutes, both of them came out, Manitoba having much more of a beating than Alberta could have ever done to him.

"Proves who's the violent one now, doesn't it?" Russia asked. A triumphant smirk was on his face.

"Yeah..." Manitoba sighed, "me." He grabbed his shovel.

Let's just say, it's a good thing countries are unkillable. But, that doesn't mean they can't die. Manitoba answered our question.