Teen Wolf Preferences

• Without You •

(Derek Imagine. Enjoy! ♡ )

It has been exactly 1 year, 3 months, 47 days and 3 hours since you left. And it's been that long since Derek had been happy.

You left him to fight his battles alone. You didn't mean to leave him alone really. It was the pressure that had made you do it. And yes it was suicide. The pressure from the Dread Doctors and the Beast had made you go crazy. He had assured you that he would help you stay sane but in his mind, he failed.

He remembers that day so clearly. He remembers what you wore, how your hair was, what you ate, hell even what you said to him. He could tell something was up that day but he didn't want to push it out of you.

"Derek. You know how much I love you right? You know you mean the world to me." You smiled, brushing your thumb against his cheek.

"(Y/N). What's up? Is everything okay?" He whispered making you nod your head.

"It will be. As long as you know I love you. Everything will be."

Derek felt more tears slowly roll down his face as he remembers what you said. He felt like he should have known what those words meant at that moment and kept you in his sights.

Your laugh.

Your smile.

Your eyes.

Your hair.

Your hugs and kisses.

Every little thing about you he could remember so vividly. He could hear your laugh and see how your face would scrunch up ever so slightly.

He remembers the moment he heard about what happened. It just seemed to all happen so fast.

"Derek.. I don't really know how to say this.  But um, it's about (Y/N). S-she's dead. She fell off the cliff. I'm so so sorry Derek." Scott told him, his face showing sadness.

"No. No she did not. Don't lie to me Scott. Where is she really?" Derek asks, trying to deny the fact that you did it.

"I swear if you are joking I will kill you. I will kill you!" Derek yelled, already in wolf mode.

"Derek stop! Just stop. She gave me this. She didn't want you to have it until she.. Well yeah. So here." Scott says nervously, giving Derek the white envelope.

Derek's fingers skimmed over the envelope lightly. He has read it more than 100 times. Memorizing every word written. He opens it slowly, already knowing how is would effect him.

Derek,

I want to start of by saying I love you. And I never wanted this to happen. But damn it I couldn't take the pressure Derek. I just couldn't fucking take it. The voices got to me. They had gotten to me. Their voices were scratchy and deep. They told me it was the only way. So I did it. And no matter how much you think I left you because I didn't love you. Don't. I love you Derek Hale with ALL of my heart. You were my light, you always guided me into the right path. And for that I want to thank you. Thank you Derek Hale for letting me have your heart. And thank you for keeping mine. You will always have it. And even though one day some girl might take yours again. I want to be the one you remember forever and ever. Please go out and be with people that love you. I know it hurts, but please keep living for me.

I love you baby boy. ♡
~(Y/N)

He can't help but let a few tears roll down his face as he read your letter over and over again.

"Derek? Are you in there? It's me Scott." Derek flinched, looking at his door. He didn't want to talk to anyone. They were all your friends. The only reason why he talked to them was because of you. 

"Derek we know you are in there. Let us in please. It's been a year. We all miss her too." Stiles spoke up. The thought of you made Derek's heart ache even more. He looked back at the door hearing it open. 

"Holy shit you look like shit." Stiles said making Derek flash his eyes red. "My bad man. I didn't mean it like that but you look dead."

"Derek. Why haven't you talked to anyone. Being in here by yourself isn't healthy. Look at you, you have bags bigger than my actual purses." Lydia says, walking in the room sitting next to Derek. "You know (Y/N) wouldn't have wanted you to be like this. She would be so mad at you right now. Please come out to dinner with us." 

Derek looked at all of the people that have come to love you. He thought about it for a moment knowing that what Lydia had said was 100 percent true. You were mad at him every time he didn't take care of himself. As of right now he could feel you looking at him with a disapproving look. 

"Fine. Only for (Y/N)." He croaked, his voice raspy from not talking for so long. 

It was only for you. 

You were his forever. 

Without you he didn't have a purpose. 

But with friends, he knew they would be there for him. 

No matter what, things wouldn't be the same, without you.