Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 2

I Don't Know What I Did to Deserve You (Colossus/Deadpool x reader)

"Get down!"

"No, you get down!"

"I am over seven feet tall, (Y/N)," Colossus replied, very matter-of-fact, "I cannot just 'get down'."

"I can get down! Watch this!" Music began to fill the workout room at the mansion, with a pounding bass line and turned up so loudly that you were tempted to cover your ears if it wouldn't cost you the barely successful grip you had on him.

"Wade! Turn that off!" you grunted, struggling to keep your hold around Colossus' neck, your legs squeezing as hard as you could. "I...can do...this..."

Your giant teammate stood as still and as firm as an old oak tree, not wavering even the slightest at your attempts to overtake him. He had outmatched you in strength and stature, but you still couldn't pass up a bet to give it a try. "You are too small, (Y/N). I do not see why you are so determined to overtake me. Surely a bet with Deadpool can't be your only motivation."

"If I lose to that...asshat..." you replied, continuing to struggle with a strain in your voice, "I have to...do his laundry for a...month..." You shifted your weight and swung to wrap your arm around his neck to give your legs a rest. You shifted so that you were in front of him and hanging face-to-face with your legs dangling freely. "Did you know that Wade doesn't change his underwear every day?"

"What the shit, (Y/N)? Not cool! That's totally uncalled for!" Wade gasped. "I turn them inside-out every other day! It's almost the same thing!"

Colossus eyed him with shock, his mouth open just slightly, "that is very unhygienic, Wade. Do you know the rate of infection caused by poor hygienic practice and unsanitary undergarments?" You had waited for his attention to shift to the conversation and swung your leg back to strike, but his hand swiftly reached down and grabbed it before you could connect to his crotch. "Now, that's unfair fighting, (Y/N). You are above that."

"I'm really not," you groaned, pulling yourself up to swing your leg around his neck and to return to your original position on his shoulders. "God, just go to the ground already!"

"Just give up, (Y/N)," Wade sighed, dropping onto the mat to sit and wait for your futile fight to be over so he could win. "Accept it. You're spending the next month with your hands in my drawers."

With the disgusting imagery that he had just provided, you decided on your plan to finally take the giant X-man down. Twisting your ankles together around his throat, you swung yourself down behind him and grabbed his pants, yanking them firmly so they would fall to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Colossus hollered out, bending down to frantically try to pull them up.

"Oh, god," Wade croaked, making dry heaving sounds under his breath. "No one needs to see that, big guy. Not to say that I'm not impressed, though."

Taking advantage of his shift in position, you hurried to free yourself from Colossus' neck, dropping to the mat to kick his leg as hard as you could, forcing him to the ground. "Yes! I fucking won!" Completely breathless with shaking muscles riddled with fatigue, you flopped onto your back on the cool mat, thankful that it was finally over. "The only hands in your drawers will be yours, Wilson!"

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," Colossus whined, pulling his pants back into place. "Charles is going to hear about this when he gets back." Wade snickered loudly, turning his music up again now that the fight was over.

"He's not coming back, tin man. We can't afford him in a story this short."