Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 2

The Village Idiot (Avengers x reader)

"I'm sorry, Sam," Natasha pleaded quietly, "I thought that would work."

"Well you thought wrong," he winced, watching her wrap a bandage around his leg that was quickly turning red with his blood, despite her best efforts. "Maybe next time we let Steve stick to planning, alright? I mean, it wasn't the worst idea you've ever had, but still..."

"I know, I'm sorry," she repeated, shaking her head, "I feel like such an idiot."

"Hey, don't go that far. Let's just say you're disillusioned on what makes a good decision."

Natasha finally broke, laughing quietly despite her overwhelming guilt and her inability to stop the bleeding from Sam's leg. She squeezed hard pressure over it, ignoring his piercing yell of pain and instead giving him a look that told him the moment of joking was over. "Sam, if you want to keep this leg attached, I'm gonna need you to man up. We need to move."

~~~

Later when the team arrived back at the compound, and after Sam was no longer at risk of needing Tony to make him a new leg, the bickering about what had really happened on the field continued over dinner, much to everyone else's amusement.

"Okay, Sam," Nat groaned, "which way is left?"

"This way," he pointed.

"Correct. So when I said to go left, which way were you supposed to go?"

"Really? You think I don't know which way is which? I went left!"

"Yeah, your other left! Maybe you're the one who's the idiot!"

While the fighting continued, you pushed your chair back and stood, looking around the room as your mind planned out what you would need. When you had an idea ready, you left for the lounge and searched the room for just the right thing to carry out your plan; grabbing an arrangement of nearly-dead flowers from their vase and tossing them into a nearby garbage, you brought the vase to the kitchen, cleaned it, and returned to the table to rejoin the group.

"Alright, that's enough," you broke in, setting the vase on the table with a firm thud. "I'm starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say something idiotic you have to put at least a dollar in it. More depending on how stupid the thing you did or say. At the end of each month, whoever has no entries gets the cash. You all do enough stupid shit around here to make a fortune in the first week. I think Nat and Sam should each throw in a hundred to get the ball rolling."

"A hundred?" she scoffed, coughing in to her napkin. "Don't you think that's a little excessive?"

"Nope," you smiled, "you almost cost Sam his leg."

"Damn straight!" he readily agreed.

"Yeah, genius, and you don't know which way is left," you chuckled. "I think a hundred each is being kind."

As the two of them grumbled and complained, though finally giving in and throwing the cash into the vase, you pulled out your phone and sent a quick text to a friend who was sure to want to get in on the action. "Hey, check it out," you announced, "I just got a little help from an anonymous donor who wants in on the payout."

"Does this donor have a name?"

You looked up from your phone with a roll of your eyes and a long sigh, "yeah, Steve. Anonymous. I think you can throw in the next twenty for that one."

~~~

You were completely right, and after the first week the jar had amassed nearly two thousand dollars, most of which was put in by Tony after a long day of lab accidents that included two visits by the fire department and one call from Homeland Security. By the end of the month, when it had come time to reach the final tally for this first count, you couldn't believe what you were seeing.