Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 2

Son, You've Got a Condition (Banner x reader)

"(Y/N)," came the telltale whisper over your comm, "(Y/N) how far out are you?

"I'm just over the ridge to your north, doc.  I'm almost there...why?"

"Um, well, I need...pants."

You stopped abruptly at his admission, wondering what he expected you to do.  You were in the middle of nowhere, the team struggling to work their way out of the heavily wooded battle zone, and absolutely no access to replacement clothes.  "Bruce, it's not like I carry a spare pair with me.  What do you expect me to do?"

There was a long silence from the other end of the line as he considered his options, as did you, neither of you coming up with a viable solution to his sudden nudity problem.  "Do you think you could just make everyone think that I'm wearing them until we get home?"

"Do you realize how much energy that would take for me to project?"

"I'll owe you, (Y/N)," he practically begged now, in a whining tone that you had never heard from him before, "anything you want."

You climbed up the final hill of the ridge and looked to the other side, seeing the poor man hunched behind a tree to hide himself from you or anyone else who might stumble upon him in all of his naked embarrassment.  When he saw you looking back, he cowered more until only his head was peeking out over a group of bushes, giving you a timid wave and a hopeful look that you would help him. 

"Fine," you relented, "I'll do this, but you're gonna pay a handsome fee, my friend." 

"Thank you, (Y/N)! Thank you so much!"  When you gave him the thumbs-up, he stood and walked towards you, appearing in your mind to be fully clothed, when in reality he was still completely naked.  Your powers of mental manipulation were strong, but the energy to keep the mirage in the minds of everyone on the team for so long would require intense concentration.  Bruce's job for the flight back was to keep anyone from talking to you, as to not risk losing your focus.

"Hey, doc, that wasn't what you were wearing when we flew in," Tony adeptly observed.  "You finally wise up and pack a spare outfit?"

"Haha, yeah," Bruce mumbled with an anxious chuckle, his hands shaking just slightly as he removed his glasses to wipe the lenses clean, "finally took your advice.  But since we're on the subject, we need to finish that prototype on the pants before our next mission.  I want to try them out."

"What pants are those?" Clint asked, standing to join the two men with a piqued curiosity.

"We're working on pants that adjust to his size when he transforms to the Hulk and back," Tony replied for him, energetically with a clap of his hands.  "It's pretty exciting and totally one-of-a-kind."

"And these won't rip in strange places," Bruce added eagerly.  "It's weird, I never wear cut-offs when we leave, but I always wake up in cut-offs, or worse, nothing at all.  Like, how do full length pants turn into cut-offs?" he laughed with a small shake of his head.  "I tell ya, I'm just going to be happy to have pants that stay on and don't tear in strange places.  Every time I go green, I wonder what you guys will have to see when I go back to this."

Clint nodded in approval, giving Bruce a supportive slap on the shoulder, "sounds like a winner, doc. Can't wait to see 'em in action." He stopped and looked up at you, furrowing his brow when he realized that your eyes were closed tightly and that you had barely moved since the jet had taken flight over an hour ago.  "Hey, what's up with (Y/N)?"

"Oh, she's just tired," Bruce hurried to break in, "she asked me to help keep things quiet."

"Shoot, well, okay."  Clint took a few steps away towards his pack and pulled out a fairly large bouquet of wild flowers, waving them slightly as he arranged them to set next to you.  "I grabbed these for her because they're her favorite color.  I guess I'll just have to see if she likes them when she wakes up."

With your eyes closed and concentrating on staying with your projection of Bruce in the minds of your teammates, you didn't notice when Clint had put the flowers next to you. The scent was lovely, but it was very strong, tickling your nose and threatening a sneeze.  You tried to ignore the building itch and concentrate even more on your image of the doctor, but ultimately, the flowers won out and you let out a loud sneeze that jolted the team with its echoing sound.  Even more of a jolt was the sudden realization by everyone that Banner was buck naked as he stood next to Clint, whose eyes were practically exploding from his head at the sight.

"Oh, shit, Banner!" he exclaimed.  "Where the hell are your pants?"

Bruce gasped and grabbed the nearest thing that he could find to cover himself, backing away towards a seat at the rear of the plane with a bright red face and a refusal to look at anyone. 

"Hey, that's my bag!" Clint called out, reaching for it but stopping when a slight hint of green filled the doctor's eyes.  He backed away with his hands up, realizing that it was best to pick his battles, and this wasn't one that he wanted to have.  "But hey, glad to help, big guy.  It's all yours."

"Bruce, I'm so sorry," you apologized, sniffling incessantly after the sneeze and with the bouquet still at your side.  "I tried to hold it in."

"It's okay, (Y/N), I know."

"Come on, Banner, don't be so shy," Tony chided as he stood, "if it helps, I can take mine off too-"

"No!" the group exclaimed in unison, most of them covering their eyes in protest.  He sat back down with a low huff and a look of betrayal, shaking his head in disgust.

"Fine, I was just trying to be supportive for our friend. Clearly, you guys don't care about our friend's feelings like I do."

Bruce finally let out a small laugh despite his discomfort and complete embarrassment, looking up from the corner he had pushed himself into, "if that's how you show that you care, Tony, please...don't."