Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 2

Not Even Close (Romanoff/Maximoff x reader)

Poly relationship

"I'm telling you, Nat and Clint are together," Sam urged, "look at 'em. There's no way that two people who spend as much time together as they do haven't bumped uglies."

"Jesus," Tony coughed, spitting his morning coffee across the kitchen table, with a good amount of it spraying all over Steve. He stood quickly and crossed the room to grab a towel, hurrying to wipe the liquid from his white button down shirt before the color could set in. "You can't say shit like that when my mouth's full."

"Mind if I get one too?" Steve huffed with a hand held high, readily grabbing a fresh towel when Tony threw it his way. "Sorry to kill your joy, Sam, but they're not together."

"How do you know?"

"I know who she's dating."

Tony's ears perked up at the admission as well as the realization that even he didn't know that, and he felt like he had a pretty decent knowledge of the team and what each of them were up to. He had quickly all but forgotten about the stain on his shirt and tossed the towel aside, leaning against the cabinets and returning to the cup in his hand. "Alright, so let's have it."

"Not at liberty to say."

"Oh, no, no, no, Cap," Tony pressed on, "none of that tight-lipped garbage, you spill it right now."

"You could just ask," Steve sighed, "it's not a secret. It's just not my place to say." He finished wiping the last few drops of coffee that Tony had spit all over him, throwing the towel back to his teammate with a smirk, but not offering any more to keep them satisfied. Both of his friends simply stared at him eagerly, hoping for him to give them even just a hint, but the Captain held firm in his resolve. "Of course, there are other ways for you idiots to find out."

"I'm in," Tony jumped forward, this time spilling his coffee on his pant leg when it sloshed around and over the lip of his cup. "Dammit," he groaned, wiping it away with his hand, "oh well, I didn't want to go to the office today anyway."

"Tony, I didn't even say what to do yet."

"Don't care. I'm in."

"Hey, fellas," you greeted with a wide smile, "looks pretty heavy in here. What's the topic this morning? Alien Invasion? Some new and exciting type of global destruction?"

"I was just gloating that I know who Nat's dating and they don't," he smiled, giving you a quick wink that escaped the other two. "They thought it was Barton."

"Barton!" you laughed, almost too emphatically. "Wow, that's a stretch! I don't see that at all!"

"Are you serious?" Sam joined in. "They're always together and hanging all over each other."

"They're friends, Sam. Just because a man and a woman are close, it doesn't mean it's more than that. Men and woman can be friends. For example," you stopped, taking a few steps towards Steve. You put a gentle hand on his shoulder to get him to turn his chair towards you so that you could sit sideways on his lap, your arm lazily around his neck and draping your legs over his while you continued the discussion. "Does sitting on Steve's lap automatically mean that he's giving me the old slap and tickle?"

"Not sitting like that," Tony offered, cocking his head to the side as he considered the options. "You should turn to face forward and back up a little."

"Alright, that's just great. Point ruined, Tony," you snapped, quickly standing with a silent apology to a flush-faced Captain. "Anyway, I know who she's dating too. So does Wanda." Giving Tony a playful slap on his arm and a petulant poke of your tongue, you made your way out with the full intention of talking to Nat and Wanda about this situation and how you could keep him and the others off the trail a little longer.