Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 2

I Can't (Barton x reader)

"You've been staring at her for an hour."

"Doesn't that mean that you've been staring at me too in order to know that?" Clint scoffed. "Something you want to confess, Romanoff?"

Natasha set her tablet down gently on the table and leaned back in her chair, looking at him apprehensively and doing her best to determine the response she might get for what she was about to say. "I do have something to confess, yes. I think you need to get your head straight and let this die out, Clint. I know that look in your eyes, and you can't."

"Yeah, I know. I know," he sighed, shifting to mimic her position across the table from her. He had been completely enamored with you for the past year, but had never made a move towards you, no matter how much he wanted to or how many times he had the chance to try. You were much younger then he was, and even though it wasn't really that significant of a difference by virtue of number alone, it was a difference in your lives and how you lived. He didn't think it would be fair to you; it was not a concern for himself.

"I do have some good news, if you choose to take it that way," she offered. "It could make this all a whole lot simpler, but you might not like it."

"Just spit it out, Nat."

"She's leaving tomorrow for a six-month mission. She'll be stationed in Eastern Europe, going undercover into a Hydra cell." Natasha leaned forward and reached across the table to him to take his hand, but he rapidly pulled it away, now feeling more anxious and uncertain than ever. "Maybe that will be the time you need."

~~~

By the time that morning came on that next day, you were fully packed and prepared to leave the tower, your bags sitting at the main door just waiting for you to join them. You had been assigned to the Avengers by Director Fury right after the New York incident, and even though it had barely been more than a year, you felt at home here. Even though you knew that this was the last place on Earth that you belonged, you felt a connection to it that brought a significant amount of guilt. Taking this trip now was much needed to clear your head and to re-focus your primary goal; data mining the team and getting as much intel as you could to bring back to Hydra. You were a master spy rivaling even Black Widow, but you had thus far been able to evade her and keep JARVIS off your trail.

"Are you really gonna leave without saying goodbye to me? That's kinda rude, (Y/N)."

"I don't like goodbyes, Barton, you know that. Have I ever once said goodbye to you before a mission? It's bad luck. It can be too final."

"Yeah, but this is six months." Clint crossed his arms and dropped his gaze to his feet, watching them shuffle slightly with the building of his nerves. He wanted to tell you everything, hoping that it would get you to talk to Fury and change your mission, but the larger part of him feared your rejection, or worse, the complete loss of your friendship. "Do you really want to do this?"

"It's not a matter of want. I have my orders." You spied your cab pulling to the curb, having declined a ride from everyone on the team; you wanted a clean getaway. Slinging a bag over your shoulder and watching as the driver took the rest to the waiting vehicle, you didn't offer any contact with Clint other than a look back when your hand felt the cool metal of the door beneath it. "Let me help you with this, okay?"

"Okay...?"

"I can't be here anymore, because I don't want to look at you everyday when I know that I can't be with you." You heard the slight crack in your voice and pushed the door open before it grew and he might notice. "Goodbye, Clint."

When the shock of your words had worn off and your cab was long gone, the realization struck him like a bolt of lightening. He stumbled back a step and finally turned to walk away, his concept of how long he had stood there completely distorted but without care.