I'm Iron Man, And I'm Agent Coulson

Chapter 4 Time Flies

Three Long Months Later

"Well, it's official, I feel like shit," I groaned, and put my tablet down, before I slowly got up from the kitchen counter and ignored Pep's worried brow.
Three months had passed without a good night's sleep, and the nightmares hadn't lessened, nor did the ache in my chest. My questions about Stane, and the tumultuous range of emotions bombarding my mind also went unanswered.
Three months, and the world had already gone back to normal, slowly forgetting the man who disappeared out in the sand, but I didn't.
I still couldn't believe it'd been three months to the day since Tony was taken, but I still woke up a few nights a week to the sounds of bombs exploding, faces of dead soldiers in front of me, and Tony's body laying broken in the sand.
The passage of time meant nothing to my search, nor to me, but my strength to hang on was finally slipping. The hope and promise I made on the plane was struggling to stay lit.
After three months, I didn't have much of anything left, just my stubbornness, but after the constant interviews, questions with unknown answers, and no results from my constant search, even my bull headedness took a hit.
The media didn't help once they started fixating on the excessive way Tony lived his life, instead of his kidnapping, and after the two month mark, most news stations and media outlets had begun to really push the belief Tony was dead, alluding that his work and lifestyle, were to blame for his disappearance. Some even began to state his body was somewhere out in the desert, buried in the sand.
My rage and utter disbelief at the audacity of these people kept me going for the past month, but the stress and exhaustion were quickly catching up to me.
I still had our satellite in the air, and while I did find a few things, they weren't Tony. I sat in the lab pouring over pictures, or on the phone with Rhodes, but even his search was becoming impeded by his superiors, and work. For all I knew, I was the only one left who firmly believed he was out there, alive, and hadn't stopped looking, but it had an effect on my demeanor, as well as my relationships.

"When was the last time you ate something substantial?" Pepper implored, giving me a once over, as I leaned against the counter in Tony's Malibu home.

Three months had flown by, and although the media firmly believed Tony was kidnapped by one of the many fascist regimes fighting overseas, the world speculated Tony had died at the hands of these same terrorists who'd been killing innocent civilians and destroying cities across the middle east, for months. There was so much speculation, so much here say, even among our little circle, until I finally tried to tune it out, forcing my mind to focus on what was in front of me.
The only people who seemed to believe whole heartedly that Anthony Stark was alive, was James, Happy and myself. Pep wanted to believe, but after three months, with no ransom or new info, it made it hard for, not just her, but everyone, to believe he was ever coming home.
Obidiah and the board had quickly taken control of the company, while I stayed every other night in Tony's Malibu home, keeping JARVIS company and constantly looking for Tony.
Pepper and I handled the paparazzi and their impossible questions whenever we ventured to Stark Industries or just out, and she continued to handle the brunt of Tony's workload, while I tried to continue working as much as possible and keep his life maintained as if he was home. It was the only thing that helped me stay calm, but there were days where I just didn't want to get out of bed.
I didn't want to hear another pessimistic outtake of how Tony lived his life, nor hear JARVIS tell me he hadn't found anything yet.
On some days the only thing that kept me sane was fiddling around in his lab, touching his things, or taking one of his expensive cars for a drive.
For ninety two days, it felt like I was on autopilot, going through the motions of living, and working, smiling when I had to, or eating when Pepper reminded me.
It was disarming to have someone with the ability to effect me like this, but I tried to push all those wayward thoughts away and focus on the jobs at hand, I had to, or I was going to fall apart.