I'm Iron Man, And I'm Agent Coulson

Chapter 81 Downtime and Retirement

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" I asked, while Tony slipped his suit jacket over his t-shirt. We'd been home for the last few days, and in those few days I finally saw the immense facility, and everything that came with it. It had living quarters, weapons, training rooms, tech, vehicles and room for the jets. It was nestled against the river, and Tony was still adding to it, and it would be under construction for another few months to make room for more labs, and medical facility.
It was already up and running, and Tasha had made herself at home, as did Steve. New agents and training for Wanda, Sam, and Rhodes, who joined the team after Tony decided it was better if he walked away, at least for awhile, had already started, with the help of Fury.
Tony stayed on only as a consultant, and still supplied Steve and the team with all the money and technology, but he needed some time to figure out what he wanted to do. I knew he was still coming to terms with the damage Ultron caused, and the loss of JARVIS, plus all of us were going to be subjected to a government hearing because of it.
There was no argument on my part, even though I remained a member of the Avengers, but I too needed to take some time off. After our heated conversation in the lab, and his decision to take a break, I decided I needed some time too. I still wanted to fight, but after Ultron, Clint and Natasha's confession about Bruce, my heart wasn't in the same place it was six months ago. In fact, my need to fight had started to diminish after SHIELD fell, and the aftermath of Sokovia just enhanced the feeling.
Besides, I needed time to get used to this new relationship with Tony, but also time to finally go home. I'd made the decision almost as soon as we stepped foot on American soil. I needed to finally go back to Oceano, and hopefully find some answers about my grandmother and the things she was constantly telling me.
I felt better about going, and more at ease once we were home, but I didn't want to leave Steve or Natasha, so soon.
But my questions needed answers and I wasn't going to find them here. The time for running was over from all these riddles and partial sparks. I still didn't believe in the things I kept hearing and feeling, not anymore, but that didn't make my need to know lessen.
I hadn't made Tony privy to my decision yet, to go home, but he already had enough on his plate without me adding to it, and this was my decision, something I needed to do alone.

I sighed, and grabbed his hand as we both walked out of the small empty conference room, upstairs. The team had already left, and began working on whatever they needed too, after Tony reiterated his need to back off, and gave them all the information they needed about the facility, along with a sarcastic promise that he was paying for all of it.

"Yes, are you sure you want to stay?" He asked, and squeezed my hand, "it took a lot out of you to be with the kids, and Pietro.."
"Yes," I replied honestly, "but I'm taking some much needed leave, I have a few things I need to do, and I'm thinking I wanna annoy you for awhile."
He snorted, "honey, I don't think you could annoy me, and I don't know about you but I'm looking forward to making up for lost time these next few days."
"Pfff, is that all you think about?" I retorted, only to let go of his hand once I saw Natasha staring at a blank wall upstairs.
Steve and Thor approached Tony, as I stared upstairs, "I'll meet you guys outside, I need to talk to Red, and make sure she's okay."
I didn't wait for them to answer and quickly made my way upstairs. I stood back as Fury handed her a tablet and talked about their search for Bruce.
"You're the one who sent me after him," she announced as Fury walked away, "did you know what would happen?"
"I gave you the cards, and all I did was hope, you did your job," he answered and walked away.  Her eyes flickered back to the empty wall, and her head slowly dropped towards her chest.
"Are you going to be alright?" I asked, and joined her, "I'll put off going back to California, if you need me too."
She gave me a smile, and shook her head, "I'll be fine," she sighed, "besides you have years of living and sex to catch up on, and I'm sure as hell not gonna stand in the way of that." Her smile brightened, and I wrapped my arms around her.
"Natasha?" I whispered, and close my eyes to keep the tears from falling. I wasn't leaving forever, but it felt like goodbye, as her normal facade slipped over her face.
"Just be safe, and call me when you get there. I'll be here beating up on Wilson and Rhodey," she murmured, and gave me a hard squeeze, "really cectpa, I'll be fine."
"I don't want to leave you like this," I sighed, feeling the tears start to burn when she called me sister in her native tongue, "but give both of them a few punches for me," I giggled.
"I'll be fine..just don't take too long of a vacation.." she snickered, and pushed me away, "don't get stuck back there (y/n), you haven't told me why you're really going, but I know how hard it is to go back.."
"I won't..." I mumured, and headed back downstairs. I gave her one last look as I walked outside underneath the overcast sky, and kept my eyes on her before I walked towards Tony, Thor and Steve. I didn't want to leave Natasha in the state she was in, but I really needed to find my own way, and answers.