I'm Iron Man, And I'm Agent Coulson

Chapter 16 Natalie Rushman

"Hey, how're you feeling? You look a little better today?" Pepper asked, as she sat down next to me.
I was looking out over the Pacific Ocean from the living room of Tony's Malibu home. It'd been months since I'd enjoyed the view, and I planned to soak it up for as long as possible, at least till I worked up enough bravery to reach out to Agent Coulson.

When I woke up this morning, still exhausted, and plagued with nightmares, but ready to face a new day. The melancholy and confusion I experienced yesterday, as I walked into my apartment, hadn't left me, but I promised myself I wasn't going to think about Tony's kiss, or what he said, because they were just words. Oh, there was desperation behind them, but no context or explanation, and his kiss didn't count. Although I pondered what he meant by saying he needed time, but time wasn't a luxury I could afford him, or myself, not after seven months of awkward silence.
Instead I planned on taking the time I had left, with all of them, hoping to enjoy it without my emotional damn breaking, before I told them what I was planning. I was sure there'd be a fight, and tears, but my determination to save myself, and what I had left overran my need to stay. As selfish as that sounded, it needed to be done, regardless what sat in my chest, and the obvious tether that still connected me to Tony.
Hell, the only reason I was in Malibu, instead of at my Krav Maga class, was because Hap texted me this morning, and let me know Pepper needed me asap, even though it was my day off.

"You really haven't said much since the hearing," Pep added, and followed my gaze out the window, as she fiddled with her pale blue dress.

"I'm still tired, but I feel better now that we're in Malibu," I replied, and forced a smile onto my face, as I buttoned up my black suit jacket. I was far from fine, with everything reeling in my mind, but I stood there waiting for her to explain what was so important for me to be here on my day off, "care to explain why I'm here, Hap made it sound like an emergency?"

"Not an emergency per se, but things have been so weird around here these past few months, if it's not you who's acting like a robot, it's Tony, if it's not Tony, it's you," she sighed, and softly patted my hand, as her eyes shined with tears, "(y/n), you told me you'd talk to me, and explain a few things, so I know there's something you're not telling me, and I can't figure out why, and the hearing couldn't of been easy for you, but I can't help you, if you won't talk to me," she concluded dejectedly.
I glanced over at her, and imagined what her reaction would be if I told her everything.
Would she be angry?
Would she look at me differently, or treat me differently?
Which was utter bullshit, because knowing Pep, she'd hit me for not telling her, then tell me to either go for it, or ask if I'd lost my damn mind, but I wasn't in the mood to entertain wild ideas, or hope.
"Please tell me you didn't call me here to talk about this again, I said I'm fine Pep, nothing for you to worry about," I warned, and wiped my face, "I've just got a lot on my mind, and I'm tired, so if that's all, I'm gonna take off."
"You're lying, but no that's not all," she decreed, but a flush of sadness slid over her eyes, "since you and Tony seem to be on better footing, I need you to come downstairs with me and talk to him. It's almost been a year since he set foot in his office, and while I'm allowed to make decisions on his behalf, this is Tony's company, and he needs to get back to work," she demanded, getting up and dragging me with her.

I scoffed, growing slightly more annoyed when her Louboutins clicked across Tony's hardwood floor, "if you're going to ask him to choose between Iron Man and Stark Industries, I can already tell you how that conversations gonna go," I argued, but reluctantly followed her downstairs, "so..asking me to be a part of this isn't gonna help you..I really don't have anything left to say, not anymore.."

"You always have something to say, but he has a company to run (y/n)," she answered, giving me one of her long looks, before punching her pin into the glass doors of the lab, "Stark Industries has to come first, he can do so much more than fly around, he has so much more to offer this world than be Iron Man."
I rolled my eyes, and popped my tense neck, a little angry that we were still having this same conversation. She made her worry and disagreement with Iron Man pretty apparent after Tony got back from Gulmira, and to still be giving Tony the same ultimatums, well pissed me off. Pepper obviously still didn't understand the reasons behind Tony's dire need to keep wearing his suit, but it wasn't my job to continue explaining it to her. The choice layed with Tony, not her, and definitely not me.
I sighed, and took a deep breath, "while that may be the case, do you realize the U.S., and other nations all over the world are safe, feel safe? And he's smart enough to do both, but yah, let's see, spend your time giving us world peace or run a company, c'mon Pepper, there's no Tony without his Iron Man suit. Iron Man is Tony, it's what he's chosen to do," I rebuked, while I walked into the lab and leaned against one of Tony's desks, uncomfortable, "you can't ask him to choose between saving lives, or making household products, pfff, not when one outweighs the other, and like I said, I'm sure he can do both," I scoffed, rolling my eyes at her inability to come to terms with Iron Man, and what he stood for, but soon it wouldn't matter, I'd be gone, and she'd have to deal with it.
"He doesn't need anymore encouragements from you in order to be Iron Man, he's the CEO of Stark Industries, first and foremost," she warned, and pushed her blonde hair off her forehead.
I gave her a pained smile and shrugged my shoulders, "whatever you say Pep, but I encouraged it, as you say, because I understand why he's doing this, which is why I stood by. So the only person who seems to have a problem, is you.."
Her eyebrows raised in suprise, and she cleared her throat, "ugh, you and Tony drive me crazy," she grumbled, and quickly turned away from me.