I'm Iron Man, And I'm Agent Coulson

Chapter 11 He Didn't Want Me

A Long, Emotional 3 Days Later

I hadn't slept or eaten, and nothing could of prepared me for the aftermath of saving Tony, nor the shadowed path which seemed to open up in front of me as soon as he woke up.

He'd gone into cardiac arrest twice, as I, along with some of SHIELD'S top doctor's, pumped his chest and kept the batteries on high, while JARVIS quickly assembled Tony's machines to build a new reactor. Pepper tried to pull me away from Tony each time his heart stopped, fearing that I would finally lose my mind, but I pushed her away every time, my mind already lost if I lost him.
I sutured the wounds on his face, and chest, while the doctors assessed the wound in his chest, ignoring their hushed words about the detrimental hole open for all of us. For those six hours I talked to him about nothing, hoping he could hear me, while Pep ran around with Coulson.
When the reactor was ready, I briefly went over the blueprints again on how to put it in, but went ahead and plugged it into his chest, once the doctor's began discussing taking the shards out of his chest cavity instead. In the unstable state he was in, he wouldn't make it through surgery, so with JARVIS's help, I made the decision myself.
The lab went silent as the bright white and blue reactor lit up in his chest, and a large sigh of relief escaped my mouth once his vitals stabilized, but I stayed by his side, unable to move.
The immensity at what just happened, Stane, the near deaths of Tony and Pep rippled across my wary mind, taking all my strength with it.
This whole situation could of been handled differently if I had just taken care of Stane, myself, like I wanted to at the facility, but instead, I almost lost Pep and Tony, and parts of the city. I berated Coulson and his organization for not listening to me in the first place, but what was done was done, and there was no going back.

I also tried not to think about the curt words Tony threw at me while he was taking on Stane. He knew I was a fighter, and could of helped, but he refused, and could of died because of it. I was just as worried about Pep as he was, but for some reason, I began to believe it was more than that, and once he was stabilized, a small shadow encroached, as if preparing me for something else coming my way.
Then Coulson had to alert SHIELD in order to keep the reporters, cops and other organizations from beating down the door. The FBI, CIA, even the board of Stark Industries had actually come through the gates and tried busting down the front doors, and they would have if Coulson hadn't made the call. In less than ten minutes twenty agents were stationed all over the property, which kept all of them at bay, and allowed us too work.

By the end of hour twenty-four, I was exhausted and began to fall into delirium, finally able to sit down next to Tony and hold his hand once he was in the clear and slept. The new reactor shined brightly in his chest, while Pepper and Coulson began to get everything in order when it came to answering questions, and a looming press conference.
I refused to join them, even though Pep demanded I step away, but I couldn't. I held onto the promise I made Tony, and watched over him, as she finally followed Coulson out of the lab.
I gave into the hope, and peace, that he was alive, and expected to make a full recovery, until everything changed, when he woke up seven hours later, leaving me shattered, and shadowed.

Press Conference

"Do I really need to be here?" I groaned, while I watched Pepper put makeup over the bruises lining Tony's face, "I don't need to be here, I'm exhausted, and don't feel well."
I was beyond the point of exhausted, but that wasn't the reason my eyes were burning and watery. Inside I felt broken, shadowed, and sick, just like I did twenty years ago, and plenty of times since then.
It amazed me how I could feel all these different emotions vying for dominance, but it was something I should of been used to. I just wanted to go home and welcome the darkness provided by unconsciousness.

The new reactor in Tony's chest shined through his white button up shirt, and he was doing just fine, while I paced in the back room of the Stark Industries auditorium.