I'm Iron Man, And I'm Agent Coulson

Chapter 96 The Catskills

"Holy shit, it's beautiful," I murmured as the two story cabin rose up from the parted trees. The large wrap around drive, and trees hid the cabin from the road, but large, lit, glass windows adorned the front, and the wraparound porch was dotted with snow. Smoke billowed from the chimney, and the warm light from the fire flickered against the glass.
When Tony said we were headed to his small cabin upstate, I didn't expect a home, bigger than the one I left in Oceano. It looked more like a Christmas decoration in a snow globe than an actual place of residence.
"You think so? It still needs some work, but it looks better than it did before," Tony grinned, and put my new pickup in park, "it belonged to my father.."

Once we finally made it downstairs, after coming down from my nightmare and a shower, Happy immediately began fussing over the small cuts on my face, but it didn't stop the shriek of excitement, from seeing a brand new pickup truck.
Of course the color was the same as Tony's suits, and eco friendly, but Tony reiterated he was going to modify it more, when he had the time. I asked why he bought me something this extravagant after barely starting this relationship, but it was too beautiful to refuse, and he shrugged and point to my older pick up truck and rolled his eyes.
He wanted to be the one to drive it upstate, but I said nothing while Happy packed our bags, and smiled throughout our conversation. I was actually looking forward to going somewhere with Tony, no matter how soon it felt. I agreed we both needed the time to ourselves, since we hadn't really stopped working these past few months, but as we drove away from the tower, I began to ask myself why I felt the uneasy way I did, or why my nightmare appeared so violently?
I'd come to the quick conclusion that maybe it was the immense feeling of the unknown, especially between Tony, the council, and Steve, which may of been responsible for my swift trepidation. I made a promise to myself that I'd try to talk to Tony about it, and hoped that he would finally tell me what was going on, but
I didn't hold my breath though.

I opened my truck door, and pulled my leather jacket tighter around my body as the cold air seeped into the extended cab. The air was refreshing, and smelled like wet pine, and wood. I was already feeling the weight lifting off my shoulders as little specks of snow grazed my face and hair.
I giggled and hurried up the steps, bursting into a warm sitting room. From the outside everything looked rustic, the epitome of country living, but once I entered the living room, I was taken aback by the sleek stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, and Stark Tech dotting the living room and kitchen. Beige couches sat in the posh living room, along with dark wood chairs, floors, and book shelves. A plush dark red carpet layed in front of a large fire place, and the mantle was decorated with pictures of Tony and his parents.
I smiled at the eclectic artwork adorning the warm brown walls, noticing a framed poster of Iron Man. It was something you could buy at any local store, but here it was, hanging on the wall, in a frame that was probably more expensive than the poster.
The living room floor was open, and the large panes of glass gave me a view of the grounds. We were surrounded by trees, and a small lake shined with the dying light.
"I guess I'll get the bags," Tony huffed, and dropped our bags by his feet, "nice right? There's an extra bedroom under the stairs, and a small workroom in the basement."
"It's beautiful, thank you for bringing me here," I mustered, and quickly walked by him.
My shoulders relaxed a bit as I headed upstairs, following the beige runner carpet up the steps till I burst onto the top floor. Most of the top floor was just one big room, with another door leading towards the back. A sitting room, along with a small work station dotted the left side, while another couch lay on the right, in front of a second fire place and TV. Two large glass doors opened to a patio, which also had firepit, and chairs.
"You ready to see the main attraction?" Tony asked, and stepped around me. He gave me a wink, while he opened the door towards the back of the room, and beckoned me forward.
The bedroom was warm, and a large bed sat directly in the middle. The deep red sheets and blankets were turned down, and a fresh vase of flowers sat on the nightstand. The walk in closet was already filled with clothes, and shoes, which left me wondering how long he'd been planning this.
The bedroom itself didn't have as much as the living room or sitting rooms, but I was enveloped in the warmth of soft colors, and Tony.
"The other door leads to the bathroom," he chided, and watched me finger the clothes hanging in the closet.
I was amazed by the amount of emotion sitting in my chest. Ever since I met Tony, all those years ago, I never expected to be somewhere this beautiful, with him, but here I was, with him standing behind me. He was continually surprising me with the things he did for me. Flying to California, building me a whip, just because I asked, buying me a truck, and most of all, spending time with me.
In the past, it was hard enough to get Tony to focus on anything else, other than ass, cars, and work, but since we came back from Sokovia, things seemed to change. I knew he was still guilt ridden, and carrying things he wasn't responsible for, but he was with me through most it, these last few weeks. I was so happy, but the doubt I'd been holding onto, since I woke up, followed me.
I began to wonder if it'd ever go away.
I wondered if this was real, or if we were caught up in all the sex, and euphoria.
"Is something wrong, dear?" He snickered, and leaned against one of the bed posts.
"I don't know," I answered honestly.
"Well, while you're figuring that out, why don't you freshen up, we have dinner reservations at The Tavern," he stated, and looked around the room.
"We just got here Tony..and I really don't feel like going out, besides that's a nice place, and I don't wanna get dressed up," I muttered, and leaned against the closet door.
"Okay one, are you on your period, is that why you've been so mercurial since you got up? Or was it the nightmare? Second, how do you know the Tavern's a nice place?" He questioned, and let a frown mark his face, "you'd think after our shower, you'd be in a better mood."
"I'm not on my period, you ass," I contended, and slid down the door, onto the ground, "and after we started spending more time in New York, after Stane happened, on my days off I'd drive wherever the road decided to take me. I think I may of actually passed by this place on one of my drives."
"Okay good to know both of those things, mostly because I planned on using a few things from that box of toys you bought," he growled impatiently, "what's the matter?"
"You wanna list..?" I snapped back, and closed my eyes at the rush of warmth spreading over my skin, at the mention of that box.
"Jeez, is it really a list?!" He quipped, and shook his head, "fine, then start at the beginning."
"I thought we had dinner reservations?" I sighed, looking into the closet at all my clothes.
"I can have it delivered, now what the hell's the matter with you? I brought you here so you could relax," he bellowed, but didn't move from the bedpost, "we kinda already have our hands full."
"Tony, I'm just overwhelmed," I repeated out loud. I said it more for myself, than anything else, but the conversation, I promised myself we'd have, all of a sudden, I just didn't want too have, at the moment.
"Liar," he mused, and let go of a sigh.
"Okay, you wanna know, then fine," I snapped, and pulled my knees up to my chest, "first of all, I've had questions about the council, Ross and you, since the hearing, like, I can't help but feel there's something else going on that you're not telling us, least of all me. Second, while I appreciate everything you've done for me these last few months, I'm still, we just started this..you and me, and being here with you.." I paused, and leaned my head back against the door, "I'm still holding onto some doubt and fear, on most days I can ignore it, but after Oceano, and the meeting at the facility.. it's cast a shadow over all this," I murmured, and waved around the room, "things have changed so much, yet I still feel like I'm stuck in the past.. wondering if this is all real."
"You're not the only stuck in the past (y/n), but we're here now, aren't we," he muttered, and began pacing around the room, "I was hoping to have this conversation after we got settled and went to dinner, but I guess now's as good a time as any."
"What conversation?" I murmured, noticing the change in his stature and voice.
"After Stane, and Bruce helped level Harlem, I was sent by Fury to coax Ross into giving us his Abomination, his answer to the Hulk. I'm sure you read the files on what happened in Harlem, but the Security Council wanted Blonksy rather than Bruce, for the Avengers, which considering what Abomination did to Harlem, was a stupid choice, but I went anyways. I think Fury knew how Ross was gonna react, and more out of spite, he gave us Bruce," he added hurriedly, while my mouth opened, "honey, I feel the same way you do when it comes to Ross, and at the time, I really didn't know up from down. All I knew was that the world needed heroes, needed this team Fury wanted to put together..so when I talked to Ross, of course he denied the request, which thankfully led us to Bruce, but my conversations with Ross didn't stop there," he admitted cautiously, "after New York, Thor, and Sokovia, the U.N. council began to ask questions, and toying with the idea that the Avengers needed to be held accountable for all the damages and loss of life, and I've been made privy to them, because I'm still listed as a consultant for the team. I'm not a fan of oversight, but seeing what happened in Sokovia..seeing what I did, just reinforces the idea that we may have no choice in the future," he continued, and sat down on the bed, "Rhodes thinks it'll happen sooner rather than later, and I don't know what the council has planned beyond this, but if it keeps people safe I think it's worth it."
"Wait... Fury had you do this..?" I asked, and closed my eyes at the information laying between us.
"No, but to be honest, now that I look back, I have to wonder if Fury already had some misgivings about SHIELD. I can't think of any other reason, besides Bruce, for involving Ross, knowing the kind of man he is," Tony added, "and we ended up with Bruce anyways."
He tried to hide the his worry surrounding Bruce, since he was still listed as MIA, but it was there, "like I said, I'm still listed as a consultant when it comes to the Avengers, so they've made me aware of the outcome of our hearings and any other ideas they have, but other than that, I really don't know what's going to happen from here on out," he concluded and wiped his face.
"So oversight from the council's coming? That's the endgame here," I questioned, and tried to keep my voice steady, "and you have no problems with that, you, of all people?"
"Honey, I think it's already here," he acquiesced, "and yes I have problems with it, but I'm the one with the weapon, not the six billion other people living on this planet."
"Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to the team? Especially Steve?" I asked, "you can't decide these things on your own, regardless how guilty you feel."
I wasn't surprised by what Tony said, nor was I angry, but the weariness of now knowing, spread over my skin. I didn't disagree we'd made mistakes, SHIELD, even the Avengers, but what's going to happen when the decision to fight is taken out of our hands, by some goddamn paperwork.
"I didn't decide anything, or recommend action to be taken. All I'm doing is trying to keep this team together, and basically the go between between you and the council. This was the U.N. and their belief that our time of acting alone, with no regard for the countries we go into, including our own, needs to become a thing of the past. It's there, but like I said, I'm not exactly kept in the loop when it comes to that shit," he expressed, and met my eyes.
During Ultron, I saw the split between Tony and Steve, even though they seemed to let it go, once we came back stateside, but if and when, the council decided to take things a step farther, I knew that split was going to draw a line between us all.
I understood Tony's side, because in some ways I felt the same, but government oversight could be a double edged sword, we both knew that.
For Steve, his trust in anything, besides his team, began to falter once he discovered SHIELD found the Tesseract, only to lose it to Loki after we decided to experiment with it. Then when SHIELD fell, it just reiterated his issues with trust, and his ability to make decisions surrounded by the Avengers, but he couldn't deny the mass damage we caused wherever we went.
"Tony, I can't believe you're still listed as a consultant, when you're just as much a part of this team as I am, but I understand, I really do, because I've also begun to question our actions after I fell, but.. but this is a slippery slope, and we may not be able to stop it, once it starts," I explained, and slowly got up.
"Honey, this all started once we decided to take a stand and fight," he insisted, while I leaned into his personal space, "we can't let another Sokovia or Johannesburg happen again, and if this helps me protect what's most important, you, then I'm willing to do whatever they want."
"How's oversight going to protect any of us, and I don't need you to protect me, we can do that together," I admonished, and sighed, once Tony leaned his head against my chest. His arms tentatively wrapped around my waist, and his shoulders settled. "Honey, I keep telling you Sokovia wasn't just your doing, Wanda and Bruce are just as responsible, which speaks volumes since Bruce decided to leave you to deal with the aftermath, but when we needed too, we all shouldered what happened, because that's what a team's supposed to do. I get being held accountable, I just hope this doesn't tear us apart later, and sooner or later you should explain to the team, at least Steve, so they can understand," I decreed, and lowered my head onto his.
"You and me both," he sighed, and met my eyes, "and I'd rather just keep that between you and me.."
"Okay, okay, but thank you for telling me, I know it's not easy to share, what you think are the darker aspects of our lives, but I bet you feel better," I suggested, and kissed his forehead.
I walked towards the closet and began looking through my clothes, still unsettled, but felt better now that I knew what was going on.
If I had Fury's number, my unease would of been spent cussing at our previous Director, but I shook myself and pulled a pair of designer jeans off the hanger.
"We're not done yet," Tony growled from behind me.
"I think I've had enough information this evening, and need a minute to process it," I scoffed, and pulled off my faded jeans, "besides I'm hungry."
"Oh no, you clearly stated you have doubts and fears, and I'm assuming have to do with you and me," he bellowed, and stood up from the bed. He crossed his arms over his black t-shirt, and focused his angry stare on me.
"Tony, that'll go away, with time," I countered, but recognized the defiant look on his face. He wasn't going to let what I said earlier go, "you saw the headlines, that alone is gonna take some time to get used too, and we've spent a lot of time apart, with different people, and while I loved you through all that, I'm still just surprised I'm here with you, that I get to finally wake up knowing that you're there somewhere close. I've never really experienced this type of happiness before, and it just takes some getting used too. Besides I've known you for close to ten years, and having you dote on me, talk to me about things that bother you, or even hear you say you love me..it still just takes me by surprise," I paused and gave him a small smile, "sometimes I wonder if I'm going to wake up, and this will all be a dream.."
"Well it's not," he muttered petulantly.
"Are you throwing a tantrum?" I giggled, and tossed, the shirt I took off, at him.
"You're distracting me, and I've seen you throw tantrums for far less," he muttered, while I looked for a nicer shirt.
"So you are throwing a tantrum?" I asked again, only to laugh as Tony rolled his eyes, and threw up his hands.
"It's not funny," he quipped.
"No, you're right, it's not," I giggled again, and faced him, "but did you listen to what I actually said? I didn't say I wasnt happy, or that I don't want to be here, all I said was I still needed time, a few weeks isn't enough here," I shrugged, and absently pulled a deep red top, off the hangers, "I've told you, my place is next to you, and wherever that may lead us. Those doubts and fears will, hopefully, go away, with a little time, I mean jesus, Tony, we've only been doing this for a few weeks, the general public doesn't really even know about us yet.. I'll be fine..we'll be fine. I need time here."
"Is that what's bothering you? That people don't know it's you and me?" He asked.
"No, of course not," I harped, and rolled my eyes, "in fact I'm a little wary about letting people know, especially after this past week, and seriously Tony, we don't have to move so fast here," I rushed out, automatically regretting my words, but it was the truth.
"Uh, ow," he snapped, and began pacing again, "and we may not be able to hide it once we go out to dinner, and we're not moving fast, I'm not wasting anymore time when I know what I want.."
"Okay grouchy, you'd think YOU'D be more relaxed after our long shower this morning," I repeated his words from earlier, and slipped the shirt on over my head, but pushed my anxiety aside, and found myself fluttering with warmth with his devotion to me, "okay look, I'm gonna say one more thing and then this conversation's over, I'm hungry, and it's starting to snow, alright?"
"I'm all ears," he grumbled, and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You're acting like an asshole again, and while I have no qualms about loving the man you are, I know for a fact, that the pedestal the media seems to hold you on, including your relationship with Pepper, is a high one," I reasoned, and pulled my hair out of my braid, "you saw what happened a week ago with the pictures at the gala. Everyone seems so invested in you and Pep, and apparently me and Red," I snickered, hoping to alleviate the tension with some levity.
"Do you think I give a shit what the media says about me, or you?" He cautioned, and approached me.
"Honestly, I don't know if you do or not, but the backlash's gonna, it's gonna hurt not only me, but Pep too, and we promised to take this slow, because I want to believe that's it's just you and me here, not the past, and I'm still coming to terms with that, I don't understand why that's so hard for you to accept," I paused when I remembered certain things said about me, and the notion that a man like Tony Stark would never get involved with someone like me, even though we were teammates and friends long before. I wasn't going to deny that some of those tabloids and online sites hurt, because it just reiterated what I already thought about myself. I never thought, at my age, I'd have to deal with rumors, or the public's scrutiny, for that matter. I wasn't popular like Steve or Tony, even Natasha and Thor had a following of fans. It didn't bother me, hell I liked my privacy, but once my relationship with Tony hit the air waves, all my hangups were going to be visible to the world, and I was going to forever hear that I wasn't good enough.
"(Y/n), if I didn't want this, or you, we wouldn't be here right now, I don't know what else I can do here to make you believe that," he sighed, and touched my hand, "and I don't give a damn what the tabloids say, or how invested they are in Pepper and I.."
"No, ugh, I believe you Tony, but you have to try and see this from my point of view and please don't start listing how we're different, I've been listening to that shit since I walked into your facility all those years ago," I growled, but held onto his hand, "maybe I have low self esteem or something.."
"Or maybe you're just worrying about something we don't have any control over. You may think Pep's still there, and she is, but not in the way you think. She runs Stark Industries, and I care about her, but this is about you and me, not my past relationships," he contended, "you're an Avenger, probably the hottest one on the team, besides Thor, and you don't even realize that. I mean, have you seen you? You've also fought and nearly died for all of us. Plus, I'll sue whatever news station, magazine, anyone I need too, if and when the time comes."
"Wait you really think Thor's hotter than me? Wow, I wish he was just a phone call away so I could tell him that," I admonished, and pecked his chapped lips, but accepted his words. He was right about Pep, but he was also right about he and I. My conversation with Pepper before Ultron quickly played over in my head, and as more time passed it did alleviate some of my misgivings, but not all. Only time would be able to do that.
"I'm being serious," he exclaimed.
"I know, and thank you for putting me in the running with Thor, that actually makes me feel a lot better, strangely," I giggled and kissed him again, "now, let's go to dinner, hopefully without your paparazzi pariahs, and come back so we can start having sex on every single surface in this place."

"So I broke down and told you stuff, and you're thinking about sex? I'm seriously beginning to think you want me just for the sex," he murmured, and headed for the door.
I snorted, "well....I'm kidding, but, thank you for talking to me, and I believe you bebe, I just..we need some time, I need some time to catch up too all this, okay? That's all I meant..and if you tell me it'll be okay, and that you want me, then I'll believe you..," I added, and leaned against the door frame.
"Okay, then we'll be okay, and I've always wanted your crazy ass, but I wasn't kidding, I brought that big black box..I'm thinking tonight's the night we put some of that stuff to good u..." He started from the foot of the stairs.
"You're serious!?" I shrieked, and felt my face blush with heat. My skin prickled, and warmth flooded between my legs, while his laughter sounded from downstairs.
"You heard me, now hurry up, before I get dinner delivered and we start right now with the couch!" He taunted.
"I'm in love with a goddamn pervert," I snickered to myself as I slowly made my way downstairs.