I'm Iron Man, And I'm Agent Coulson

Chapter 64 aftermath

"Your grandfather and I nearly destroyed each other before I let him in, but he loved me. Yet, with love also comes fear, little one. Don't let anyone tell you love is supposed to be songs and flowers mija, it's beautiful just as it is ugly, but never give up hope, for your heart will know who and what it wants, what it needs, when you see it. He won't let you go, they won't either, even if you're not ready. It may hurt you, but there will be no denying what lays in your heart. All things have balance bebe, light needs dark, the sun needs the moon, and they'll light you up, so will he."

I shoved myself off the wall as my grandmother's words rolled over me, and slowly headed downstairs to the training room.
I had given Tony the power to kill me a long time ago when we finally slept together before Gulmira, and plenty of times after that, only for him to do just that.
Then Phil came along, and changed so much in such a short amount of time. He knew Tony was still there in the background, but he never rushed me, or expected any more out of what we were doing.
More importantly, he was willing to give me time, but he died, taking what I had left with him.
I was empty, soulless, teetering on falling off the edge. I understood what my nanita meant, when she said I would know love when I found it, but I also understood what she meant when she said it was ugly.
Loving someone shouldn't destroy you in the process, like it did my mother.

I looked around the quiet training room, taking in all the equipment, finally coming to a stop in front of one of the heavy bags.
My body wasn't at 100%, far from it, I was still weak, and sore, but I needed to do something, I couldn't sit in my room and cry.
I slammed my fist into the bag, feeling the vibration go up my arm and over my collarbone. The sharp ache almost forced me to stop, but I refused too, and continued to slam my fists, feet and legs against the bag.
My cries only got louder, and quickly turned into angry grunts and slight shouts.
In between gasps, and gritted teeth, I realized Tony had just proved my point. He left me in my room, alone, while I tried to explain to him my fears.
How could he not understand, he was it for me, he'd always been, since I walked into his goddamn company, and there was nothing more I wanted than to finally be by his side, sleeping next to him, and holding his hand, but after all we've been through...
He couldn't walk back in and simply demand something from me, regardless his confessions and rescuing.
Loving Tony brought so much guilt before and after Phil died, even though I knew Phil wouldn't want me to feel any of those things. Yet, to have the man I loved wake up one day and decide for Pepper and I, just wasn't right. No one, not even Tony, could let go that quickly, not after all he and Pep had been through.
The depression from the oncoming shadows and my grandmother's words encroached, cancelling out most of the pain from my injuries. My collar bone and shoulder flared with heat and pain, my ribs ached, and my knuckles were dripping blood all over the hard wood floor, but I kept going. A surge of fatigue made my knees shake, and my arm started to stiffen, but I leaned back and punched, only to have a hand shackle my wrist, and pull me into a hard chest.
"I'm glad you're on your feet soldier, but I think it's time to stop," Steve lamented, wrapping his arms around me, and in the shelter of his safety, I poured out everything I wanted to say.

Tony walked into his lab, picked up the nearest thing he could get his hands on and threw it. His eyebrows raised when the large metal bucket shattered one of his screens, surprising him.
He shook his head, and ran a hand through his messy hair.
He heard her crying as he slammed the door, but instead of turning around and comforting her, he let his anger, his ego, and shock, push him further away from her.
Only in the quiet of his lab could he admit, she was right, about all of it, because just like she said he would, he left her once again, with tears on her face, while she tried to explain her need for time, and he recognized she needed it.
He acknowledged it'd only been two weeks since she got up, and he shouldn't of put all this on her shoulders so soon.
She was also right about Pep, but he was never good at waiting for something he wanted. He felt he'd waited long enough already.
In his life, if he wanted it, he went after it, worked for it, till he got it. Only (y/n) wasn't a weapon, car, or some deal, or Pepper.
She was the only woman who could drive him utterly insane, and angry, while still wanting nothing more than to kiss her, make her his.
He wanted nothing more, and then to hear her say 'I need time,' along with all her pain, just sent him spiraling down a tunnel of consternation.
He wanted her now, he had given up so much, and he had, really give up that much.
He shook his head again at the thought, that was his ego talking, and he immediately thought about going back upstairs just to apologize.
Instead he walked around his lab, and turned on a few screens, one bringing up his large cache of security cameras.