I'm Iron Man, And I'm Agent Coulson

Chapter 120 Take Me Home

"You have some balls (y/l/n), man, I'd rather have you out here, than some of the fresh recruits they dropped of from the Sahara," Lt. Gonzalez remedied, and patted my bare shoulder. His dark hair was covered in sand, and sweat dripped down his forehead onto the forty pounds of equipment he had on top of his army uniform, "the area's been cleared, and Intel states no chatter's been relayed back to whoever sent them here, your surprise attack did what it was meant too," he stated as I sat up, "just maybe next time give us a little more heads up, it's been a long time since my team's been rendered useless..alright?"
"I'm not gonna apologize, if that's what you're waiting for," I grunted, and held my bandaged side, "I sent the communique to Romanoff, and wanted you to protect the civilians if some of those fuckheads made it through."
"No apology necessary soldier, good work," he ascertained, "although I would like to understand how you knew they were coming?" He asked and stared into my eyes.
I shivered, even though sweat continued to pour over my skin, "a hunch Lieutenant, and let's leave it at that."
His dark brow frowned with more questions, but the look I gave him stopped him from asking, "some hunch.." He mumbled and left.

I gazed through the tent opening and watched as civilians and volunteers tried to come down from the excitement, but children were still crying and wondering what happened. Men and women were asking questions, if those men would be back, or if we caused more harm than good.
My body hurt, and I shivered. I'd lost alot of blood, but my wounds weren't life threatening, and I was fine. The bullet didn't cause any major damage for Steve's shoulder, and he was fine, as well, but he was furious, and took a walk around the perimeter. Natasha was busy trying to calm everyone, and finish our job, while Rhodes stayed on the phone relaying what happened to the Foundation, and I'm assuming, Tony.
The anger in his voice earlier didn't help me come down from the fight, but it was unnecessary since engagement was expected to happen. I was overall surprised we hadn't been hit yet, and everything was going according to plan, but we had discussed keeping the fight away from our volunteers and civilians, if possible, and it's not like I didn't warn them.
I told them, and my unease was easy to see. After all we've experienced together these last few years, and these past months, my warnings weren't anything new. I reacted on my gut, and got the job done. No one died, and Steve and I were fine.

I tried to stand up, but my legs were stiff, and I fell back down onto the gurney.
"I asked you to stay still for the next few hours, and stay underneath the blanket. You're still coming down from shock," the tall black doctor ordered, "and if those sutures come out again, I'm gonna end up using duct tape.."
I snickered, but leaned back against the wood pillar next to my gurney.
"Agent Romanoff is bringing you some clothes, but take it easy, and I'd recommend nothing but fluids for the next two hours, to help replace your blood loss," he continued, just as Iron Man dropped to the ground, and stalked towards the medical tent I was in.
My heart started racing with adrenaline, but I sat still, growing more weary and angry as the ambiance quieted.
"Uh, Doc, you may want to give me a minute," I mumbled, as his helmet opened, and he marched forward. His eyes were lit up with anger, and fear, but the last thing I needed was my boyfriend showing up like I was some damsel in need of rescue.
"What, why.." he asked and finally noticed Tony, "oh Mr. Stark... uh, it's a pleasure to see you, here, sir," he stuttered.
"The pleasure's mine doc, how's the patient?" Tony mumbled, through clenched teeth.
"Fine, merely flesh wounds, and all stitched up, but I recommend having them looked at once she gets stateside, just in case," the doctor answered before he cleared his throat and walked out.
The silence between us reiterated his rage, I could feel it pouring off his skin, but nothing would deviate from the rightness I felt by what I did.

"You didn't have to fly across the world, I told you everything was fine," I embued, but his eyes took in my blood splattered clothes, and soaked gauze, still laying a few feet away.
"Then what would you have me do, dear," he seethed, and struggled with his anger as he took a step forward.
"Let me do my job," I retorted petulantly, "I told you we were all okay, and the target was taken care of..I don't understand your anger.."
"My anger? My anger?" He challenged, "oh I'm not angry, I'm fucken furious!" He hissed, and tossed up his hands, "Rhodes told me what happened, so don't make any excuses right now, because I've heard them..so I'm going to ask you this one more time, and I expect your honest answer, because I'm this close to removing you from further involvement with my foundation..," he fumed.
I scoffed, "remove me then, because I don't know what the fuck your problem is," I barked, "we went over simulations, and planned for this to happen, and now here you are, talking to me like I don't know what the hell I'm doing, when all I did was my job. What's the matter with you Stark!?"
"Your job?!" He seethed, "your job was to deliver supplies, and if engaged, to fight alongside your team, not take on over twenty goddamned soldiers, and a .50 cal, by yourself. Rhodes and Cap gave you an order, and you disobeyed those orders," he continued, "you not only put Steve's life in danger, but yours, have you lost your mind!? You're not some one woman superhero, that's why the team's here, but you..you just went ahead and put yourself out there, alone. You're done (y/n), until you can learn..."
"You know what, then I quit, you can take your organization, your anger, whatever other problem you have, and go fuck yourself Tony," I cursed, and forced my feet forward, "you're such a fucken hypocrite."
"We're not done talking (y/n)," he argued behind me.
"I am, I'm done," I hissed, and kept walking.
The cold desert made my exposed skin prickle, but I didn't cover up my sports bra as I passed by shocked civilians, Natasha and Rhodey. Small beads of blood trickled down my side, and the doctor called out my name, but I kept walking.
My rage kept the tears from falling over my cheeks, but I forced my feet forward and headed towards one of the empty fallen buildings about fifty yards away from our tents. I climbed through the rubble, and grunted through the pain. I pushed my hand over my side, and pressed down, hoping I didn't pull out my sutures, but I didn't stop till I got to the top, and dropped down against the northeast wall. My bandage was soaked, and I groaned, as I looked at my drenched hand.
Tony had no right, or reason to be barking out orders, nor comment on what I did. Neither did the team. I gave them the warning, and I assumed my whereabouts were known since we had the jet, and satellite overhead, but their anger was just as prevalent as Tony's.
I honestly didn't think I did anything wrong.
I did my job, and we saved the civilians and volunteers from whatever onslaught, the small band had planned, but here I was alone, bleeding, and utterly defeated.
All I wanted to do was help, wasn't that my job, wasn't that the reason we were here? Then to have Tony threaten me with the foundation, pushed me over the edge. Maybe he was scared, but he wasn't the one in the choas, I was, and instead of some semblance of comfort, he threatened me, and foisted his anger onto my shoulders.
Maybe this wasn't going to work?
Maybe he and I were bound to experience nothing but turmoil?
Things were so different for us before New Year's, and I assumed we had reached some kind of foundation for our relationship, but after the past few months, and minutes earlier, I didn't know what was going to happen.
I wanted to believe he cared for me so much, and that's why he was angry.
I wanted to believe he wanted to someday marry me, like he joked, but a couple of good days together, couldn't outweigh the rage and loneliness I'd experienced.
Maybe we didn't... maybe I was wrong about everything, not about the mission, but about where I was going?
All I knew was my melancholy hit me like bricks, and piled so much doubt onto my shoulders. I was so tired of crying, tired of feeling ripped apart. The beginnings shouldn't be this hard.
Time, maybe we just needed more time..?
Thoughts, memories, and made promises bombarded my exhausted brain, and I couldn't hold back the heavy wave of sadness, from enveloping me in a fog of vulnerability.
The shadows and darkness scared me, and surprised me with their vengeance, but I looked up into the night sky, and gave into the hell reaching for me.