1.
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to point it out.
2.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
3.
I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant
4.
Someday you'll go far, I hope you stay there
5. Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date
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