Best Insults Comebacks & More

Punny Stories

1.

The gladiator was having a rough day in the arena. His opponent had sliced off both of his arms. Nevertheless, he kept on fighting, kicking and biting as furiously as he could. But when his opponent lopped off both feet, our gladiator had no choice to give up, for no he was both unarmed and defeated.

2.

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig Van Beethoven 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the 9th symphony and it is being played backward. Puzzled he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the 7th symphony but like the previous piece it is being played backward. Curious the men agreed to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert the 5th symphony is playing again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th then the 7th and the 5th by the next day the word had spread and a throng had gathered around the grave. they were all listening to the 2nd symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambled up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"