It's About Time (GMW - Joshaya)

Chapter 77

Maya's POV

The crescent moon outside the window cast a glow on Josh's profile.

"Look Josh. I'm know I'm not completely innocent either. I've been a complete and utter bitch to you--"

"Don't say that," he shook his head at me.

"What?" I asked quizzically.

"Don't call yourself a bitch. You're not a bitch, Maya," he looked hurt by my words.

"Come on. You and I both know that I've been a bitch to you lately," I insisted. 

He curled his lips inward and out, shaking his head again. "I didn't think for one second that you were being a bitch. Please don't ever say that about yourself. I never want you to feel that way. Especially if I'm at the root of it. I deserved the things you said to me. And besides, you can't beat yourself up over that because not only did I deserve it, but you had a right to get you anger out."

"Fine, but I was being mean. And instead of communicating, I lashed out and put my walls back up. I ran away too. I never gave you a chance to explain or anything. I'm not sure that it would've made a difference for me," I admitted, my voice hard with honesty. "But it wasn't fair to you. I mean communication is the most important part of any relationship. Even friendships. When did it get so hard for us to communicate? We used to be so good at this Josh?"

He tapped his thumb on my leg as he thought for a moment before saying, "I don't know, just about the time we started to full explore our feelings for each other I guess."

"I've never been too great at that whole relationship thing.." I laughed.

"Hey, neither have I," he surrendered his hands. "I guess it's just something that we gotta learn and grow with. It's not easy to trust and commit when you've been burned a few times."

"I guess you're right," I bit my lip in thought. "Ya know, not to make you feel bad Josh, but I just have to say it while we are still doing a pretty bang up job at this communicating this."

"Go ahead. Communicate away," he chuckled.

"You broke my heart. I know I wasn't fair to you and our relationship, or whatever it was, sort of self-destructed. But I was hurt and jealous. Which isn't easy for me to admit. And I probably should've said it in the moment so that maybe we could've resolved it, but I'm admitting now. For the sake of our friendship," I blinked back the tears that were suddenly collecting in my eyes.

Don't cry again Maya. No more tears. 

I could tell he was speechless by my confession and didn't know what to say because he probably noticed the glistening of my eyes and the pain in my voice.

"Thanks for telling me that. I never wanna hurt you Maya. Please know that. I care for you more than you know. And I'm doing my best to change," he spoke softly. "For the sake of our friendship of course," he added.

I swung my legs back on the ground and snuggled into his side to squeeze him into a hug. My head rested tenderly on his firm chest and my arms wrapped his body. My body slowly bobbed up and down with each breath he took. I was safely enveloped in Josh's arms, his warm cheek resting atop my head. 

We stayed this way for what felt like years before pulling apart slightly. I looked up at him, his long lashes batting at a steady beat. 

Both of his hands cradled the back of my head and he brought me in for a sweet forehead kiss. 

I smiled without realizing, just truly appreciating this moment between us. 

I put my head back down on his chest, but this time little higher so that the top of my head interlocked with his neck. I tried to resist looking back up into his big blue eyes that pulled me in like magnets, but I eventually failed.

My gaze drifted upwards to Josh. His eyes were closed. He looked tired but blissful. 

My hand reached up and gently settled on the side of his face. My thumb caressed his cheek yearningly. I could feel the prickliness on his face from the last time he shaved.

 He smiled without opening his eyes. 

I inched a little closer to him until our breaths were in sync.

He finally opened his sleepy eyes slightly and tucked a loose strand of golden hair behind my ear. His forehead lowered so that ours were touching.

His long eyelashes tickled my face as his blinked leisurely. 

I could stay here forever.