Ambition (A Zayn Malik Fan Fiction)

Chapter 45.

ZAYN'S POV:

What the hell have I done? She was only trying to stop me. And I blew it out on her. Never in a million years did I ever plan to hurt her. After all this time of me watching out for her, I never thought I'd be the one to end up actually doing it.

I stood there like an idiot. She was staring at me with her blue eyes and that's where they stayed. All I could think about was, I can't lose her. But I didn't do anything to stop that from happening. I was scared to even touch her again. How could I be so careless with that? My anger? I know how I get, she knows how I get. So why did she do that!

I was forced to watch Harry take her away, something I couldn't do because of my guilt. She's so delicate. If I hold her too strong, she'll break. My name was called out multiple times to wake me up but I couldn't. It was as if the world started to slow down, only I didn't move. I couldn't. I was traumatized.

Paige was no longer in view but another figure approached me rapidly. My Mum grabbed my arm and started to turn me around, a look of fear and disappointment was clear in her face. She didn't say anything but I felt our feet move out into the darkness of the night.

Outside parked right across the street adjacent from the house shined the vibrant red lights from the ambulance. It came faster than I expected but I'm glad it did.

That's when I actually noticed what was going on in the back. Harry had placed her body onto the gurnee, a group of people surrounding the scene. Mum had encouraged me to continue walking but it took a few tries before I did. How could I get close to her, without thinking about this . Things just won't be the same anymore.

*AT THE HOSPITAL*

"Zayn, please eat this." Mum begged handing me a chocolate bar from one of the hospital's multiple vending machines.

I looked away from the bar, going back to nervously looking down at my shaking hands, thinking of what I caused with them.

"You can't stop eating, please Zayn." She begged again. "We've been here for hours now and we never got a chance to eat dinner."

"I'm not hungry." I kept looking down.

We were sitting in the waiting room, nervously waiting to see what the doctors have to say about Paige. We were all here. Mum, Harry, Vanessa, half of the party that didn't fled away on us, and Avan.

I was surprised he actually decided to stick around. This was all his fault. He called her my play toy and she's not. I fucking care about her even more than I do myself. This whole damn trip was for her. I know I said it was for my Mum, but it never was. I love my Mum and care for her too, but I'm grown up now. I just wanted them to meet because I saw it on a fucking movie that it brings people together once they meet each other's families. But my family is only tearing us apart.

I miss her laugh. I miss her smile.

Why did I have to act so ignorant with her. I wasn't bothered by the whole getting into one of Avan's fights. I just wanted her to see that I didn't want her to do it anymore. I was going to explain that to her, I really was, that's why I went downstairs anyways. She was hurt because I was caring for myself. When I got down and saw her turn around with water in her eyes, I was going to run up to her and kiss her the way I always do and tell her that I was being stupid. But no, Avan stepped in and I lost it. Now I'm starting to wonder what other kind of shit he's called her behind my back.

I heard my Mum take a seat on the chair next to me and sigh, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Why did you do it, Zayn?" She asked.