Ambition (A Zayn Malik Fan Fiction)

Chapter 60.

I tried to smile today them I realized there's no point anyways.

It's been more than a week since I last saw Zayn. That day we had our big fight, I just simply woke up, called a cab, and left; all before he even woke up. He hasn't made any efforts to see me again, or even talk to me. This was getting ridiculous. I thought he just needed his space.

l feel so numb, staring at the shower wall. I lost track of how long I've just been standing here. It's begun, the feeling that the end has come. And it kills me inside that I'm surprisingly agreeing with it.

I tried to eat today but the lump in my throat got in the way. It's been like this for  while now. I've lost all sense of pride during this time. I thought about calling. Maybe if I hear his voice I'll be fine. But just as many times as I thought about it, I also grew upon denying it. What god will that do? I'm sure if I hear his voice I probably wouldn't take it and start crying.

The water got cold now.

I wish I could stay longer, all day maybe. But again, there's no point there. There's no point in anything I do anymore so why bother?

The last drops finished falling onto my back, skin taking in the last sensation of water from my lonesome shower. I forgot how empty showers felt without Zayn with me, whispering sweet stuff that always, no matter what, made me giggle. I waited a few moments in silence, thinking of those mornings, afternoons, and evening before pulling the shower curtain across the metal pole. It was cooler on the other side, a breeze that affected me quite a bit. My hands pulled on the nearest towel within reach from me, drying every inch of my body that was exposed to the water until I was completely dry. I quickly changed into my clothes. A pair of shorts and a tank top that I wore rather much around Zayn. I know because it smelled just like him, a sense of a strong cologne with a touch of sweet that just made a perfect combination for him.

I walked out of my bathroom, trudging my way across the carpet floor to lay sitting down on my bed.

I want the room to take me under. I can't help but wonder.. What if I had one more night for goodbye?

It's like, if he's not here to turn the lights off, I can't sleep. My pillow's wet from all the tears I've cried into them. I was in bed all throughout the week, the weather complying the was I felt with heavy showers of thunderstorms. It left me feeling nothing but meaningless. Still, I haven't been able to do nothing else. I only get out of bed to use the bathroom and get food, nothing else. Sometimes on rare occasions, I would lay in my living room couch and have my lazy day there instead of up here.  My parents have been really busy lately an they still don't know what's going on. Work is holding them back and so is it with Kennedy. So I have the house to myself again, no surprise. That's perfect for how I'm feeling right now.

I've called in sick to Charlie's this whole time. At this point, I don't even care anymore if Eddie fires me. What's the point?

My friends have also made loads amounts of effort to reach me. They tried calling, checking in at work, stopping by my house, and even sending me flowers with little post cards saying they're sorry if they've done something wrong to upset me. It's nice to know they care so much to send me flowers. They think it's their fault on why I'm feeling like this. But it's not. I didn't think I'll fall this hard to have my heart shattered over something I did in trying to help. Zayn was my first love, I can never forget that.

Those thoughts were soon abruptly shut off as the loud sound of thunder sounded from outside.

I went back to reality the next second, fiddling around the space with my hands in effort to fish my TV controller out of my duvets without looking. It was finally in my hands before I heard a loud sound go off and the flash of my phone beginning to blink. I dropped the remote to grab my phone by my nightstand. Not bothering to look at the caller ID, I picked up.