Ambition (A Zayn Malik Fan Fiction)

Chapter 53.

It was quiet.

I miss Zayn talking to me in his own way. Making me laugh, reminding me how perverted he actually is. He doesn't do that anymore and I understand why.

It hasn't been 40 minutes since we've left Queens and already, I miss it. It was raining now, the sky couldn't get any darker and something told me it'll be like this for a while. Zayn's Mom took our leave pretty easy, she was mostly worried about Zayn. He hasn't been the same though. All he can think about is his family, the money. I wish I could take those thoughts away, get his mind off things, but sadly I can't. I was never the one person to cheer others up when they were down. Usually it's just something we'll talk about instead of joke about. And whenever I was down, it was either my sister, friends, or Zayn who'll cheer me up. I can't do the same for him and it kills me to know that.

All this thinking was hurting my head. And I know Zayn felt just as I did. I had to get some conversation going.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"What?" He chuckled, looking back at me for a quick second.

"You're right, that was stupid." I felt ashamed, looking back down at my lap where the same book I was reading before was.

Zayn quietly laughed to himself, not that I could really ignore it. He was making this harder to not feel retarded for asking that question.

"Don't say that." He remained looking straight ahead. "There's no such thing as a stupid question."

"Then why did you laugh?" I smiled.

I looked at him, closing the book in my hand to watch him smile. For the first time, I didn't know if it was real or fake.

"Because lately, you've been doing this.. Asking me random questions in the most random times?"

I couldn't help but laugh along too. This all just seemed really confusing to me. I was always told as a little girl that I would talk so much about the strangest thing and immediately move on to a completely different subject. I guess I'm still the same.

"Well, I don't know what else to say to get you to speak?" I meant it in a joking way but then I've realized I've taken it a little too far along the edge. "I'm sorry."

Zayn cleared his throat, smiling again upon the frown he has taken.

"No, no, don't worry about it."

I thought he'd finish there but he didn't, only making me feel horrible about myself.

"I guess I haven't been much of a boyfriend lately, huh?"

"No, don't say that." I turned to him, shaking my head in disagreement, "I couldn't ask for a better one than you."

He kept vision with the road, I knew he was feeling bad on the inside.

"I know what kind of stuff you've been dealing with lately and it sucks that it's been making you get like this." I continued, "You don't deserve this."

"No, I do." He nodded his head.

I grew bewildered with how he was taking this.

"You have no idea what kind of stuff I did in the past before I met you." He paused to look back at me. "This is exactly what I deserve."

I remained looking down at his hands on the steering wheel and the way his knuckles became white by the way he gripped onto it with anger. "People change, Zayn." I spoke looking back up at the side of his face. "But one thing that's always going to be true is that good people always get put down the hardest in life when they don't deserve it. That's what makes them stronger."