Changed For The Better

Drained

Luke drove us off to this casual restaurant type thing. It was an alright looking place, but it's always a nightmare when we get taken out to eat because there's so many of us. You can always tell that we stress out the waiters.

They helped us push a few tables close together, but they were circle so they didn't really fit together but we could all see each other, which really sucked in my case.

All the younger ones were given paper crowns or hates or something that came with some stickers and wax crayons to decorate them with. I remember when that sort of thing used to be really exciting but now, it just sort of...isn't.

I sat towards the end of the cluster we had made and I was next to Mai Lee and Tyler. Tyler got out his phone and started playing on a game of some sort. Why didn't I bring my phone? I'm so annoyed about that now.

I folded my arms over the table then rested my head down into them. Mai Lee started rubbing my back which made me feel uncomfortable in a public place.

"Tired?" She asked. I slowly nodded in reply, which wasn't strictly a lie. I am tired, but I'm also restless. And o just really really want Ryan to come home.

"Maybe you are coming down with something"

I shook her off me and no doubt she'll have exchanged a look with Luke who was sat opposite. We had three circular tables in a line. The younger ones were on the far one and taking up a load of space doing their colouring. Then there was Candi, Sasha, Kazima and Joseph who were just talking in conversation. Then I was sat with Tyler, Jody, Mai Lee and Luke. With Jody opposite Tyler and me opposite Luke, beside Mai Lee.

The waiter came over and took our drink and main course orders. I just ordered the same as most people which was a cheese pizza. But childish I know, specially considering all the things that are on the menu. This place isn't fancy, but it's still a restaurant. Even if it is clearly aimed at children. It's still not home cooking is it? Which is great from Mai Lee, but it is nice to get away from it once in a while.

Since we've placed our order and there are so many to get right for the cooks, we had a lot of time on our hands. Everyone around me is in a conversation and having fun and I'm here, not talking to anyone. Not even looking at anyone. Just sat with my arms and head on the desk. Anything could be better than this.

"I'm just going to the toilet" I stated as I stood up.

"Are you alright?" Asked Mai Lee as I squeezed past her chair.

"Yeah fine" I said dismissively without looking back. I went into the girls toilets which were pretty much on the other side of the restaurant. Typical.

Luckily went I went in, all three of the cubicles were empty and it was just me in there. There were tiles floors and walls and it was quite fancy. Behind the sinks were large mirrors that had lights above them. Glamorous much.

I leant on the sinks and looked at myself in the mirror. What's wrong with me? What have I done so wrong that deserves me to be taken from everyone who cares about me? Everyone that I care about. They always leave. Even those who promised not to. Not ever.

My eyes started filling with tears, but lightly. I refused to let them fall. I'm not standing in the bathroom crying. That would be a new level of low.

"Are you ok?"

I whipped my head round to see Candi standing by the door.

"Sorry" she said. "Mai Lee asked me to come and make sure you're alright."

"Yeah I'm fine" I said looking down.

"So you're not sick or anything?"

"No"