Changed For The Better

Seeing Red

Once dinner was finally over, Ryan and I decided to go out into the garden for a bit. The sun was starting to set so I knew I didn't have long, but I really did want to talk to Ryan about what happened over dinner.

We sat on the swinging bench, leaning against the back board of it. Ryan was using his feet to rock us slightly while I had my feet up beside me, kind of like mermaid style. Ryan had his arm around me and we had the entire garden to ourselves. It was peaceful. We were sat in a comfortable silence.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah? Are you alright?" He asked softly. Okay he's definitely much calmer now than he was before.

"I'm okay. I just want to talk to you about what happened at dinner"

"Look I'm really sorry about what the others were saying. I don't know what came over them. Since you left they haven't been saying bad things about you, or at least not to me. I thought they missed you almost as much as I do"

"Don't worry about the others Ryan. Like I said, they don't matter to us"

"I kind of thought you meant that, but then once you heard them I thought you might have gone back to letting them inside your head?"

"What? No Ryan listen to me, this isn't about the others"

"Well what is it then? Please tell me you're okay?"

"I'm okay Ryan, don't worry for me. I'm just worrying about you"

"Why are you worrying about me? I'm doing just fine" he said with a smirk.

"But I feel like you aren't" I replied, which got his attention.

"What do you mean? Marie you're starting to scare me with all this, please explain what It is you're saying"

"I just..." I sighed. "The way you were at dinner, how angry you got and so quickly, I don't know it just didn't seem like a very you thing to do. I don't think I've ever seen you that mad before and I guess in a way, it kind of scared me. Look, Ryan, are you sure you're okay?"

"Marie I promise you I am just fine. I was just so angry with them for acting harsh towards you when they have been missing you. It's like they don't want to admit it, but in doing what they did and driving you away, things will only get worse for both them and you."

"What are you saying Ryan?"

"I'm just saying that, I have missed you a lot. and now that you're finally here again, to have them not being welcoming to you just made me mad. I just want you to be as happy and feel as safe as possible, especially when you are here and I can look after you. You know how much I love to do that."

"Yeah I know" I smiled.

"So you see, now that you are here with me, I just want to be with you, and for everyone to be good to you and treat you well, just like I do. I just want you to be happy, I don't care about all of the others"

"Aww Ryan"

"No really. Now that we don't get to be around each other all of the time, I really want to make it count"

"And it does count. You don't have to go out of your way, just being you is enough. But I still can't shake what happened at dinner. I'm sorry but it really has gotten to me"

"Well don't let it. I'm really sorry if I scared yo, I didn't mean to scare anybody. I guess I was just seeing red and lost my self control for a few moments. I truly am sorry, but I don't want you worrying. Whatever happened to me was a one time thing, I promise you it won't happen again"

I smiled and kissed his cheek gently, then went back to my previous resting position. I still couldn't get it off my mind though. But he says it won't happen again so I have to trust him. what other options do I have?

I just hope my leaving hasn't done him any damage. I hope he isn't now angry or constantly upset by me, although what I've done recently wouldn't cause me any surprise if I've caused him all these negative emotions.

At it grew darker, I grew more and more aware of the pressing time, and how I need to get home to avoid getting in trouble with Mike for not being back on time. Ryan seemed aware as well, as he was the one who suggested we go inside.

I still need to have that chat with Mai Lee before I leave as well. I'm so glad I came today and I'm very grateful for the time I have had with Ryan. There was some time recently here I managed to convince myself that I had lost him but thank god I didn't listen to it too much.

Ryan waited on the stairs while I knocked on the office door and waited for Mai Lee. We will have to make this quick, but she said it would be. A nice quick chat then a quick goodbye to Ryan before a short run home and hopefully back in on time. That's not too much to ask, right?

Mai Lee let me in and we both stood near the desk. Luke was sat doing some paperwork and typing on the computer. He looked very focused so I'm going to go ahead and assume that this little chat doesn't involve him.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked Mai Lee.

"I just want to know how you're doing"

"I'm doing good. Things are good" I said briefly, trying to get out of there so I can get home

"So Mike and Agatha are a good match for you?"

"Yep they're good" I replied, causing Mai Lee to sigh.

"Marie, I'm not going to lie, I'm worried about you"

"What? Why?"

"Just, we haven't seen you or heard from you in such a while"

"Oh but I've just been busy with Mike and Agatha and..."

"Yes yes Ryan mentioned that were very busy and had a lot of plans with them but I would have hoped for perhaps a phone call or a text, or email"

"Sorry" I said, not knowing any other ways to respond. "Look I'm sorry Mai Lee but I really need to g..."

"No Marie, we need to talk about this. Are you sure you are happy with them?"

"Yes"

"because if there was even the smallest problem you know you can talk to us and we can get it sorted out..."

"Mai Lee everything is fine, and I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner but I have to be home before dark so if you don't mind..."

"It's fine you can just text Mike and let him know where you are"

"No I should just get back..."

"Or I can do it if you don't want to..."

"No look you know what Mike is like with his texts and things, I'll just head back"

"Marie you can't avoid this topic forever, I need to know if there is a problem..."

"There isn't please just listen when I say that! I'm sorry, but I need to go"

With that I ran out because I simply didn't have the time and she was starting to stress me out. Why is she so keen on there being a problem with me? She doesn't have to be there to help me solve my problems any more. I'm grateful that she is, but she doesn't have to be. I have Mike and Agatha.

I also said a quick goodbye to Ryan but we agreed to just text about it later as I didn't want to be grounded and then not be able t see him for ages again. With that, I left the dumping ground gain. and started running home.