Changed For The Better

Day to Day

The routine was always the same. Wake up to my alarm, wish I wasn't awake. Slowly slide out of bed and get dressed and brush my teeth, taking turns with Ryan to get dressed in the bathroom. Then, after trying and failing to do my hair, we would go down to breakfast and probably not eat a lot through the lack of time.

Then, we would meet with all the others, nobody in a good mood. Nobody wanting to be there. We all would either get a lift from Luke, if we were lucky, or like on most days, we would end up walking. Everyone had the person they would rather walk with, Ryan and I always at the back.

Then we arrive at school, pretty much only just on time, if not late. We were always those kids. We would all run off to our separate form rooms and sneak in, trying to go unnoticed. It never worked. Yet still we tried.

We sit through form, not paying attention to anything apart from each other. We sit aloe and as far from everyone as we can, as though nobody else is there, even though they are.

Lessons come and go, each one is pretty much the same every time. Lessons starts, you struggle, you write down words, you get help, you write down the right words, you hand it in then head off to the next. No point. Nothing learned. Only difference is now you're more tired than you were before.

Break is awkward. Too short to do anything productive, too long to just stand there or find somewhere to sit. Only there to prevent the school from having a lawsuit filed against them for overworking us. Lunch is a relief, you can talk. We all talk together. It gets awkward. We talk too much. There's nothing left to say to each other.

It's draining. Every day drags on the same as every day before that. And every day is a test to see if we are close enough to the edge yet, and if we are, we probably receive a push over it. Or if you aren't, you probably will be tomorrow.

We walk home, Ryan and I together again, yet separate from the rest. We take the long route home. More time to walk, more time to talk, more time to ourselves before we have to be at home and face life again.

We talk about our days. We talk about people. Teachers, friends and enemies alike. We tell all, no use hiding anything. The other will only find out eventually anyway.

Back at the house, we arrive and dump our bags on the floor before changing into something more comfortable. We go to the desk and tackle the days homework, a routine we stick to. Easier to get it done with as soon as possible. Otherwise you only end up worrying about it.

Dinner comes by. An awkward silence hangs in the room every time, or people talk among themselves. It depends on the drama of the day. Food is good. People are bad. Dead air that smells delicious. The only way to perfectly describe the scene.

Dinner comes to an end, then, and only then, can we finally relax. The day has ended. Responsibilities have been dealt with. We don't have to speak to any of the others any more. Instead we talk again, always talking, more and more. We crave each others' catharsis too much.

Sometimes we cuddle up together, others we sit on opposite sides of the room just spending time on our own, but together. It's better together. My life is better with him in it, and I feel as though he thinks the same. At least that's what I want.

Today was the same. School was dull, there really wasn't anything to say about t. One tiny thing that bothered me, was that Harley wasn't there at all today. I hope he is okay, but I don't feel like I'm in a good enough place with him to text and ask. But then again, if I don't he might think I don't care.

I tried not to think about it. Ryan and I were sitting on my bed, getting ready to look inside the other pack of potential foster parents.

"Now remember" Ryan started "if you don't like any of them, you don't have to meet any of them. It isn't compulsory for you to go. Nobody is making you go okay?"

Ryan never liked the idea of me leaving this place. Honestly, I'm not that excited. But I can't stay here. I just can't do it any more. I want to get out of here.

"I know Ryan. But you never, they might be really nice" I said as I starting tearing the seal on the envelope. We were meant to do this yesterday, so now I have maybe a couple of hours until I promised Luke an answer.

"I know. I'm just worried you'll rush into things"

"Ryan even if I do like their description, I still have to meet them in person. We have to out and get on, don't forget they actually have to like me, which I know isn't the easiest thing to do"

"Okay. I trust you to make the right choice. It's your choice after all"

I smiled at him, feeling happy that he trusted me. I finally pulled the papers out of the envelope, my jaw dropped the second I saw who was in the photo.

IT WAS MIKE!

Mike, and another person, a lady who I'm assuming was his age. There was also a picture of his house. I hadn't seen it since Mike left and we went to his house. I didn't bother reading the profile, I know him. I don't need to.

I slammed the paper down on the bed and got up in stress, I began pacing and rubbing my forehead.

"Why does Mike want to foster me? Mike can't foster me! That's just weird! He doesn't even care for us Ryan how could he think about even considering fostering me!"

"Whoa Marie calm down" he replied as he got up and came and stood in front of me. "Maybe this isn't such a bad things"

"What?!"

"Well think about it, Mike has been a great fatherly figure to you. He knows you well already, he could look after you way better than any other random couple ever could. And this way, you know you wouldn't be living too far away. We could see each other all the time"

"But last night, you said..."

"Yeah I know what I said but, now that it's actually happening, I think this could be a good thing"

"So you're saying...?"

"I was wrong" he said rolling his eyes playfully.