Changed For The Better

Bath

We arrived back at the dumping ground and I said goodbye to Mike and Agatha. I'm still soaking wet from all the rain. All I want is to go and have a bath then cuddle up in some blankets. They smiled and waved me off and then went through for coffee with Luke and Mai Lee. I'm not stupid, they wouldn't be meeting with both Mai Lee and Luke just for coffee, they're going to do the post day out conversation.

Basically, Mai Lee and Luke will be asking how they got on and if I behaved and if they liked me and if they thought I liked them. Basically they want to know if I would actually be suitable or not, or whether we should end this and stop not while we're ahead.

Then, I'm assuming, later on after Mike and Agatha have left, they will ask me into a meeting in the office and ask me all of the same questions. But for now, I'm heading back to our room to get myself ready then have a bath.

Ryan didn't seem to be doing anything at all when I walked in. He was sat on the end of his bed with his head in his hands, bouncing his knees up and down. He looked nervous.

"You okay?" I asked as I came in. He looked up to me.

"Me? You're the one soaking wet what happened?"

"Random downpour while were outside" I sighed. "Anyway, what's wrong?"

"Oh nothing. I was just waiting for you to get back. I was a bit worried when you told me how awkward it was. Anyway, how did it go? Asides from the random downpour of course"

He stood in front of me and started stroking both my arms. "It was...a;right, I guess"

"Alright? Is that the best you can come up with?"

"Well it wasn't exactly good, but I don't know if it's just the weather to blame for that"

"Do you think you will consider them for fostering?"

"I don't know. I don't really feel like we clicked you know? I feel like they aren't the perfect parents for me, specially since Mike knows the old me so well and Agatha knows nothing at all. But then again I kind of feel obliged, since it is Mike after all"

"You're not obliged to do anything Marie, if you don't want to live with them, then you don't have to"

"I know I know. But hey, it's early days. But as I see it now, I won't be going to live with them any time soon, or at all for that matter. It's too awkward. His wife Agatha is so full on. She can't have her own children, so she's a bit overexcited"

"Well, like you said, give it some time. Are they still here?"

"Yeah, talking to Luke and Mai Lee in the office"

"As always" Ryan scoffed with a smile. "Well, you go get yourself dried up and then get back here and tell me everything that happened with Harley this morning"

"Agreed. I think I'm gonna have a nice long bath if that's okay"

"Of course it is"

"Cool. I just, I need to relax for a bit you know? Today has been a lot..."

"Marie, it's completely fine. Go and have a bath, pamper yourself. You deserve it"

He smiled down at me, so I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, before letting go, grabbing the things I needed and headed to the bathroom. Considering the fact that it's the middle of the afternoon, I didn't have to wait or anything, which was good.

I locked the door behind me and dumped everything I had with me onto the top of the laundry basket. I plugged in the plug and switched on the hot tap. After a few seconds, the water began steaming, so I poured in a bit too much bubble bath. But lets be honest, a bit too much bubble bath is just the right amount of bubble bath.

I also dropped a bath bomb in there. I have no idea how old it is, but oh well. It smells nice so it probably won't kill me. While I waited for the bath to fill up I looked at myself in the mirror. I look so tired. Bags and circles under my eyes.

My skin is dry and blotchy and my hair is weighed down and stuck to my face. That's just because of the rain though, I know that much. I'm glad I didn't decide to wear makeup today. I rarely do to be fair. I could see bubbles about to spill over the edge of the bath so I knew it was time to stop prodding at my skin, and just relax in the bath for a bit.

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I got out of the bath and felt a bit dizzy. I think maybe the bath was too hot or something. The mirror was all steamed up and my skin was extremely red. I splashed some cold water on myself at the sink which didn't really help much.

I gave up and changed into my pyjamas before heading back through the our room. It's still the middle of the afternoon but in my opinion, it's never too soon to be in your pyjamas. They are the most comfortable clothing so if you're going to be having a difficult conversation or need to relax, it's the best thing.

I left my wet towels hanging over the hot radiator then went back to our room, feeling quite refreshed, but also a bit nervous for talking to Ryan about what happened with Harley. I know what Harley said and what he did, but I also know what I said to him. And how things might have looked from his point of view.

He's going through enough already, without me making things more difficult for him. Yes I wanted to help him at first, then things started going too far. I guess it would have been best if I had just told him I wasn't interested but that we could still be friends before things got so out of hand.

I was in far too deep by yesterday, and that I think, is why things got so out of hand.  didn't mean what I said. Not fully, but I kind of did, I suppose. I needed him to get the message, but there was a line that I crossed.

We need to talk, properly but maybe with somebody else there. He needs to apologise, I need to apologise. And then we can move forward. either as friends or maybe just acquaintances I don't know. By this point we need to agree on where we stand and just stay there. and if Harley hates me then so be it, but then it would no longer be my problem. There's a long list of people who don't like me, one more name on that list would hardly make a difference.