Changed For The Better

All Great Minds...

Some time later...

"Marie you have to go out sooner or later"

"You can't stay in the house forever"

"Surely there is something to do other than sitting alone in your room?"

"What about your friends?"

Those statements and others much alike are all I have been hearing recently. Things have been bad, worse than they were before. I still go to school but I stay inside at reception during lunch and break. I have run out of things to tell Ryan so now I just avoid him altogether.

What's happened to us? There is a total lack of communication, which granted is my fault entirely and I take responsibility for that completely. I need to talk to him, I know I do. But now it's been so long, I just don't know what to say to him.

It will happen though. He deserves an explanation if nothing else, but I want to be able to control the situation. Maybe I will make a visit to the dumping ground tomorrow. It's a Saturday so I have nothing on all day. I can lie in all morning then visit.

I still text him, like I reply to his texts but I don't really start the conversations and I don't keep them up very well. It's like I no longer know how to do that with him, which is weird since we were so close. He is the one person I wanted to keep up with, and so far I am failing massively.

So tomorrow, whether I like it or not, and whether I feel like it or not, I'm going to do my best to look after myself in the morning, then head over to the dumping ground to talk to Ryan. Hopefully they won't mind me showing up unannounced. I don't think they will. Specially since I haven't visited once since I left. Unless thy happen to be on a real daytrip or something, but I doubt it, specially during school time still.

I poked my head out from underneath the cover and looked up at the ceiling. It's really hot in here but I still don't feel like moving. I wonder what we are having for dinner. And when. It's usually around seven, which I am starting to get used to now.

I don't really feel hungry right now, just warm, and bored. I rolled over and picked up my phone out of habit. I unlocked it and looked over all the flash games I had on there, before deleting it all. Even crossy road. There's not much point in keeping them. They aren't really fun anymore, and I never play them any more. They are taking up storage and sitting there getting dusty or so to speak. So I deleted them.

I then went onto my messages, and clicked on the conversation I have with Ryan. The last thing on there is a message from Ryan from the day before yesterday.

R: Heeeeyyyyyyyy xx

That was cute, but I never replied to it. If I scroll up the most recent messages, there are way more from Ryan than there are from me which makes me feel even worse than I did before. I should be more social and communicative, but for some reason I'm finding really difficult to do so.

I have to do something about this. As soon as possible.

Ryan's POV

I'm so worried about Marie. I know she has other things on her mind and in her life now other than me, but she promised me that nothing would change and that we would still see each other all the time.

But instead she is making up excuses and staying at home all the time. Even the rest of the dumping ground lot have noticed. She doesn't reply to many of my texts any more and she barely ever sees us at school. But I know that something is wrong.

I know she isn't like everyone else; she hasn't just left and decided that she had better things to do like everyone else does. This is something else, and I know it because I know that she needs me just as much as I need her. She just finds it harder to admit it.

I need to talk to her. Face to face. No excuses or lying to get out of it. I need her to be straight with me. I'll be really surprised if she really has been this busy this whole entire time but I am almost certain that she hasn't.

I think tomorrow I'm going to go over and talk with her at her place where she won't be able to lie about being busy with Mike and Agatha because they will (or won't) be there so she will be forced to just tell me the truth.

Now I am not angry with her, not yet. I will be if I find out that she is avoiding me because she has already found someone else or something like that. But I trust her and I want to hear her out before making any assumptions, especially ones like that.

I hope she isn't thinking too much about Harley and all of what happened with him. I can see how much that eats at her even though she tries not to show it so that people don't worry about her. But I worry anyway, so I would much rather her just be honest with me.

I have nothing else on tomorrow, or at all now that Marie  and I don't have plans, so I can easily just get myself sorted and ready in the morning, thinking of what to say, then walk over to her house. It isn't near, but it isn't far either so it won't be a problem. And it will be worth it if I get to see her again, because we really haven't had a proper conversation for ages.

I opened my phone and went onto our text conversation. I was the last person to text and that was two days ago, she never replied. Maybe she never got it? Maybe her phone has been broken or something? Nah, I feel like I would know about it if that were the case.

I considered trying to text her again but thought it would be best if I just wait until tomorrow when I can speak to her face to face. That would be the best option in terms of definitely getting a reply. Chances are if I text now she won't even be there to see it, or if she is, she won't reply.