Changed For The Better

Breakfast

I rolled over in bed, it felt more comfortable than normal. I opened my eyes, and for a second, I felt a wave on panic flash over me. I forgot I was no longer at the dumping ground for a moment, and I was very confused. Everyone does that.

I rolled over and had a look at the clock, well okay I tried to. Note to self: buy a clock. I picked up my phone and rubbed my eyes to wake myself up. The room is kind of bright, it's big, so it's harder to tell what time it is from the light.

I turned my phone on once my eyes were ready. 9:34 it read. Not bad, considering how late I was up last night. I also saw a message from Ryan.

R: Morning gorgeous xx

How was he awake an hour ago? Actually, I'm normally up way before now. I guess that's just because when you live at the dumping ground, as soon as one person wakes up, everyone gets woken up. And it's always one of the younger ones who is up at stupid o'clock in the morning.

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind for now. If I keep thinking back to how things used to be, I'll only end up crawling back, and that is the opposite of what I want, and the opposite of what will be good for me.

M: Morning Ryry xx

R: Ryry? Really? x

M: Hey I only just woke up, don't judge me for my nicknaming skills

R: I miss you x

M: I miss you too x

R: Have you looked on your camera role recently?

M: What? No, why?

R: Have a look xx

M: If you say so, give me a minute x

I clicked out of messages and went onto my camera role. The newest thing was from yesterday, but I didn't use my phone at all yesterday. I had it on me at the funeral, but I never got it out. I clicked on the video that had been taken, and Ryan's face came onto it.

He was dressed smartly in his funeral outfit and it looked like he was in the lobby at the dumping ground. Standing by the staircase. I pressed play:

"Hey Marie" he said softly. "So, you won't see this until you have left, but right now you've gone up to the toilet. I'm outside the office where Mike and Agatha are waiting for you. I hope they are treating you well and looking after you. I can guarantee that I'm already missing you.

"Don't forget, this is your placement, this is your choice. You have the power to make of it what you will, and it is up to you and only you to say something if you want to come home. I hope you come home. Home for me, will always be where you are. So this place won't be the same without you."

He looked away from the camera with tears in his eyes for a few seconds. "I wasn't going to cry" he whispered. "I didn't want to cry, I wanted to be strong for you, and I will be. always and forever. I can hear you moving around upstairs, so I'm going to go now. But if you ever need me and I'm not there to answer the phone, know that I'm there for you. I'll always be thinking of you and I will be missing you more than you could ever know.

"Remember, I love you, with everything that I can. On such a level that I could not ever describe to you but I just hope you know. And I ask nothing in return from you, nothing at all. Even if you want to end things with me then I wish that you do, if that's what it takes for you to be happy then so be it. Anyway, I'm rambling now, so I'll wrap it all up. I love you, and I know I'll be seeing you soon."

He smiled at the camera, wiped away a tear and then the video ended. I was grinning like an idiot the entire time of watching it. I flipped back onto the messages we had.

M: Ryan you cheeseball, that was so cute xx

R: don't delete it

M: I haven't, why would I?

R: I don't know. But just, don't ever get rid of it.

M: I won't, don't worry

M: Oh yeah I also spoke to Agatha and Mike yesterday, they said they are happy to have you over whenever because Agatha is very keen to meet my friends and stuff

R: Yay! Let me know when is best for you guys x

M: Okay, I'll go now. Speak in a bit xxx

R: Alright, bye love x

I put my phone back on the bedside table, and realised that I really need to get up. it's getting kind of late and I really don't want to look like a lazy person to be living with. Specially when Mike, and maybe Agatha I don't know, is really used to early mornings because of work.

I rolled out of the warmth of the duvet and quickly wrapped my dressing gown around me as it was extremely cold, probably because of the time of year combined with the size of the room. Maybe I should turn the radiator on later.

I slipped my slippers on and took a glance at myself in the mirror. Honestly, not the worst I've ever looked. Just sort of, a relaxed mess. It will do. I made my way out of the room and down the stairs. Past their room, where the door was wide open. Their room was empty, the bed was made and the curtains were open. Oops.

I reached the kitchen, and when I opened the door, Mike and Agatha were in there, both fully dressed. It was like a typical family setup. Agatha was in the kitchen, wearing an apron and cooking something, while Mike sat at the table with a mug of coffee and a newspaper. They both noticed me and smiled.

"Morning Marie, how did you sleep? Alright I hope"

"Yes thanks Agatha."

"How is the room coming along?"

"Quite well actually, I'm pretty much all settled in"

"No problems are there? Any mice or anything?" Mike joked.

"Of course not"

"Well what would you like for breakfast? I've got some pancakes on the go if you'd like"

"That would be brilliant, thank you"

"No problem. We like to do proper breakfast on the weekends don't we Mike?" Mike smiled and nodded along, before returning back to his newspaper. "Help yourself to coffee from the pot, or there is juice in the fridge, or water from the tap"

I decided on the juice. "Where are the glasses?" I asked.

"Up there" she said as she gestured towards a cupboard, where i did indeed find the glasses. When I went into the fridge, I noticed it was fully stocked, with fancy foods and treats, not just vegetables. I grabbed the orange juice and helped myself, like she said.

It's s homely here, which feels abnormal to me. As welcoming as they are, and as normal as they are acting, I still feel like I don't know them that well and that this is very formal. Like when you visit a friends house for the very first time and feel like you have to be on your best behaviour.

"So, have you got any plans for the day?" Asked Mike as he folded up the newspaper and put it down on the table.

"Not yet" I replied. "I was thinking, I should finalise my room today, because I won't have the chance tomorrow, what with school and stuff"

"How about we all do something together today?" Suggested Agatha.

"I'm sorry, I've got a load of paperwork to be getting on with today, but you guys can go ahead and spend some time together. It might actually be a good chance for you to get to know each other better before Marie is stuck in with all her schoolwork"

Agatha looked at me with hope in her eyes. "Okay" I breathed.

"Brilliant. Although, looking at the weather, I think we would be best staying indoors. Maybe we could do some baking?"

"Oooh that would be lovely" Mike added, clearly thinking more about the food then anything else.

"Cool. Sounds good to me" I agreed as she served me some pancakes. We all sat around the circular dining table together and ate breakfast in a comfortable silence. Maybe this is what family feels like.