Changed For The Better

Ill and Sleeping

I wake up, and before I have the chance to open my eyes, I feel a pain in my stomach. I open my eyes, and the dim light causes my head to throb. Suddenly...oh no. I'm on the inside of the bed so I put my hand over my mouth and shuffle quickly off the edge of the bed, probably waking Ryan in the process.

I haven't got time to care. I run out of the bedroom, leaving the door open and ignoring the pain in my head. I ran to the bathroom and collapsed on the floor in front of the toilet, just in time. I coughed and spluttered vomit into the toilet, somehow miraculously managing to miss the floor.

I leant against the side of the toilet and heard footsteps from behind me where I hadn't shut the door. "No! No don't look at me" I croaked as I tried to shuffle to face away from the door.

It hurt my throat to speak, and I only realised once I tried to.

"Hun you're not well" said Ryan as he crouched down beside me and started rubbing my back. "Let it all out" he said gently. As if on cue, I threw up again, then wiped my mouth and sat backwards.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed"

"What about..."

"The others are all out bowling still. It's fine I'll bring you a bucket and some water"

I carefully stood up with slightly wobbly legs, flushed the toilet, than went back to bed. Ryan soon came in with the items as promised, then climbed back in beside me.

"No Ryan what if I need to throw up again?"

"Then you throw up. Don't try hold it back it will only get worse. I don't mind if it goes on the blanket, or the carpet or me! It's okay"

He leaned in but I put my hand up in front of my lips. "You'll get sick"

"I don't care" he said as he pushed my hand out of the way before pecking me gently on the lips. "Now go on, time for some rest"

I didn't bother arguing, I'm never gonna win. Instead I just rolled onto my other side, making my stomach flip and growl angrily. Why is this happening to me? I'm normally really good at not getting ill. But since I've thrown up, it isn't like I can deny it. Specially since Ryan was there.

----------

I woke up again a bit later and Ryan wasn't there. I don't blame him. I didn't expect him to stay with me while I lay there ill and sleeping. My head still hurt and I felt freezing.

I could vaguely hear some commotion from somewhere in the house, which means they must all be back and I've spent most of the day asleep. Somehow, I still feel so tired though. Why is my body punishing me like this?

The worst part was, my voice was gone, so I couldn't call out for someone to help me or comfort me. And I feel like if I stand up I'll just be sick again, and I'm so cold I don't want to leave the comfort of this duvet. I guess I'll just have to play the waiting game.

I shut my eyes and tried my hardest to relax, but it felt like every time it as close to falling asleep, my body did something that made sure I stayed awake. Like I would get an itch, or a badly times sneeze or that weird thing where part of your body jerks out randomly which wakes you up. Either way I came to the conclusion that I'm not going back to sleep now.

If nobody is coming up here any time soon, I guess I'll just have to go downstairs, no matter how sick it makes me feel. I feel frozen! I need a hot water bottle and a hot sugary drink! But I feel as if I eat anything it will all just come straight back up again. I really don't want that happening.

I sluggishly pushed the duvet off me and felt the harsh air nipping at my skin. Making me more aware of the cold and how cold I am. I pressed my hand against the radiator, it was turned off so I turned it to full power so it would heat the room up while I'm downstairs.

I carefully stood up. My legs still feel like jelly but I really need to go downstairs. I need to wash my face and do my teeth if nothing else. I held onto every ledge and the wall on my way to the door, where I picked up my dressing gown and wrapped it tightly around me. It's not as effective as one of Ryan's hugs.

My vision was slightly blurry. Not like, panic attack or fainting type blurry, more like, eyes are watering type blurry. My eyes weren't watering but I didn't worry about it. I probably just caught a bug or a virus or something that will be fine by tomorrow.

I held the railing as I headed down the stairs. Mai Lee came rushing out of the office.

"Marie what are you doing up?! Ryan said you were ill you should be resting!" Only now did I realise that it's actually evening time and everyone seems to be in the lounge enjoying movie night.

"Go back to bed please"

"I need a hot water bottle" I croaked, forgetting about my throat.

"Look, okay ill bring you a hot water bottle and a drink and something to eat but you need to go back up to bed now please. It might be contagious"

I sighed and turned around and made my way upstairs again. While Mai Lee was sorting everything else out I went into the bathroom. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, safe to say, I'm a mess.

My hair is poking out here there and everywhere and is so greasy! My fave is a pale mess with purple rings beneath my eyes. I'm all sweaty also which is never a pretty sight. Even my lips don't quite look right.

I squinted in the bright bathroom light as I brushed my teeth. I really should have done this after I threw up earlier but I wasn't thinking. I also splashed some hot water on my face and patted it dry, before returning to bed and burying myself in all the covers, still wearing my dressing gown.

It was a mere few minutes before Mai Lee walked in carrying a tray, with a hot water bottle held under her arm. She placed the tray down on the bedside table and handed me the hot water bottle which I gratefully took and cuddled dear the blanket.

Mai Lee sat on the end of my bed and placed the back of her hand across my forehead which won't have been pleasant since it was already sweating again.

"Marie you feel boiling"

"I'm cold" I replied simply.

"I'm sorry, you've got a temperature. I'll have to take that hot water bottle back and turn off the radiator."

"But I'm cold" I whined.

"I know but the on,y way to make you better is to cool you down. You aren't really cold, it's a trick your body is playing on you"

She took the hot water bottle and turned the radiator off. She also insisted I sleep with just the one blanket and no dressing gown. I lay there shivering in the dark on my own. This is stupid.

On the tray she brought me some ice cold water as well as a sandwich. There's no way in hell I'm eating anything right now, but I do need a drink. I took a sip of the water, which firstly hurt my teeth, secondly hurt my throats even more, and also made me feel nauseas. 

I flopped back on the bed and felt my stomach churn. It feels like someone has reached their hand into my gut and it churning everything. Wh y is the universe desperate to see me suffer?

I wonder when Ryan will come to bed. It's already dark but it can't be that late since they're watching a film downstairs still, so the younger ones aren't in bed yet. I hope I'm not contagious because then Ryan might get sick. And I don't want to be the cause of that.

I do miss him though, in a weird sort of way. Like I know he's here and I only saw him less than a day ago, but it kind of stings knowing that he's been talking to and hanging out with other people all day while I'm stuck here on my own, feeling like death.

Still, I'd rather suffer alone than suffer with company and have the risk of making someone else ill too. But at the same time, the least any of them could have done was to come up and say hey or poke their heads round the door or check on me. Thanks guys.

I wonder what they've been doing all day. I mean, I know they went bowling but what about when they got back? There's loads of time between bowling and movie night, and I don't remember anybody coming upstairs. Weird.