Changed For The Better

Chalk and Charcoal

(A/N: I wrote this yesterday and forgot to publish, so there's another update coming tonight x)

I was kinda late to the lesson, but I managed to sneak into art and take my seat. Harley wasn't there, which had me a little worried. I can't have upset him that much can I? All I did was tell him what he needed to hear, and until I refused to kiss him, he was grateful for it. And he can't blame me for not wanting to kiss him, even if he doesn't know about Ryan.

Art went by slowly. It was a double, so the last lesson before we were allowed to go home. For the first half of the lesson, we had theory about chalk and charcoal and how to create a positive space using the black or sow thing like that. I dunno I didn't pay much attention. Then we had to continue with our self portraits.

Harley didn't come in at all. I thought maybe he was also late, or he was upset and calming down in reception or somewhere, but no. He never came back. Maybe he went home or something? I hat to admit it, but it was kind of lonely sitting on my own at the back. Any other day I wouldn't have minded, but not today. Not since I feel live I've upset him again.

This isn't what I wanted, and I think this is what it took for me to realise. I want Harley in my life, as a friend and nothing more. I think when we started getting close, and specially when he almost kissed me, I got scared and thought it was going in a different direction. This whole thing has been so awkward, and wrong, and...I don't know. I need to make it up to Harley, again, but I don't know where he is.

————

After school, I met up with the others like we normally do. Well, I met up with Ryan who waited for me, the others had all left. I don't blame them, I had to pack away all my art things and get to the other side of the school so I probably wouldn't have waited that amount of time for anyone else to be fair.

"Hey. How did it go with Harley?" He asked. Weird, Ryan doesn't normally bring Harley up because he doesn't like talking about him.

"Well..." I wondered wether or not I should tell him about the almost kiss. I mean, it never actually happened and I didn't want it, so he has nothing to be mad at me for. But then again he'll only go getting mad at Harley, and Harley doesn't know about us yet. I don't think there is a need to tell him because nothing has changed. As long as Harley doesn't mention it, which I'm sure he won't.

"I told him he needs to find friends by himself, and not just rely on me all the time. He sort of understood it, but he got a bit mad. He started shouting so I ran off to the girls toilets. I haven't seen him since"

"Didn't you just have art?"

"Yeah but he wasn't there for some reason. And how could you tell I had art?"

"Firstly, you're always late on art days. Secondly, you have charcoal all over your face, and chalk all over everything. You need to look in a mirror and get yourself cleaned up when we get home" he laughed. I wonder how long I've been looking like such a mess.

"Oh right" I sort of, tried to laugh long but I felt like an idiot. "While I was in there though, I had a look at Jody's graffiti"

"Oh yeah? What did it say? Was it something really juicy?"

"Please, never say that again"

"Agreed" he said, looking almost traumatised by himself.

"And no, it was actually..something else it was...it will be easier if I just show you"

"Marie I can't go in the girls toilets..."

"I know. I've got a picture"

I could see him starting to blush and I fumbled round in my pocket to find my phone. It's always right at the bottom isn't it? Anyway, I got it out, opened up the picture and turned it to face Ryan. He examined it for a few seconds, before looking down at me again.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine" I replied. "I've had worse things said to me by better people, I mean it isn't exactly creative is it? It just kind of hurts that I stuck up for her in front of everyone the other day. I gave her a chance, without knowing that she had already blown it"

"Well, that isn't your fault. You were trying to be the bigger person and get over whatever it is you and Jody have been through, but she was just trying to cause even more trouble. Honestly, I would ignore it"

"Well, I'm trying. But it's kind of hard isn't it?"

"It's hard to ignore what people say, yes you're right about that" he said. I felt him reach down and take my hand, intertwining our fingers. "But, you're better than she is. You don't have to listen to anything she says. She is only trying to get to you because she's jealous of you. Okay?"

"Okay"

I smiled at him and he smiled back. But his argument made no sense whatsoever. She's jealous of me so she tells me to kill myself via the walls in the girls toilets? What? Does that mean she wants to kill herself? No. She doesn't. I don't think. I hope not.

"How has your day been?" I asked. "We always speak about me. What about you?"

"Well, not a lot really happens to me when you aren't there"

"What are you saying?"

"Nothing bad. Just that, I don't speak to anyone else really or have any other friends so life without you is really boring"

"What about Tyler? He's your friend"

"Yeah but he is always with Jody and I don't like Jody so"

I nodded. It's really awkward. Tyler needs to stop following Jody around like a lost puppy and start thinking for himself. He I probably just scared of her turning on him or something, but what he doesn't realise is that if he leaves Jody, she will have nobody left. She'll be forced to become a nice person again, like she used to be. It's almost sad how times change people, but if they didn't, would we still like them? The past versions of us might like the old versions of other people, but would the current versions?