Changed For The Better

Someone better

"Look, I'm sure he was just being nice or chivalrous or something. It doesn't mean anything, and even if it did to him, it didn't to me"

"He still shouldn't have done it though. He would not like it if I did that to him. If I gave my coat to his girlfriend"

"Ok, firstly, you're getting petty please calm down. Secondly, he doesn't have a girlfriend. Finally, he doesn't know that you and I are a thing. Nobody does"

"What he hasn't asked?"

"Well he kind of has. He asked me why I was always spending my time with you and why I was always around you"

"And what did you say?"

"I told him that we are good friends and enjoy spending time together"

"So you friendzoned me basically?"

"Well yeah, but I think it would be worse if I had told him"

"Why? Because he would stop chasing after you?"

"No! Because he would start telling everybody else and would probably not speak to me in the same way he used to out of being scared of saying something that would make you mad at him. Then how would he ever get over everything he is going through? I'm not trying to be harsh but, he needs me"

"But I need you" he pouted.

"And you've got me" I said putting my arms round him and resting my head on his chest. "I'm not going anywhere okay? You need to trust me around other people"

"I trust you around other people, just not with Harley"

"Why? Like I know you don't like him and I know what he used to be like but he is very different now. Now that his friends have all left him, well he has definitely gone down a peg or two or so to speak. I think he just wants, and needs a friend"

"But we both know he wants you as more than a friend" Ryan said. I couldn't see his face because I was still in our cuddle, but he sounded like he was sulking.

"I don't care" I replied. "There might be people who like me as more than a friend, there's probably people who like you as more than a friend. But we know that we aren't going to go to these other people. We aren't falling for it and we aren't leaving each other. Understand?"

"Yeah I get what you're saying and I agree. I just get scared sometimes"

"Why? I really am here to stay"

"I know, but I still get scared that somebody like Harley will come along, somebody who is better than me, and you'll be gone. You'll be with them because you'll be able to have them. Because you're so great, you could have anyone"

"I really couldn't. And  wouldn't want anyone else. I'm with you and that's all I need"

"But what if..."

"Ryan, you're stuck with me so you're just going to have to live with it"

I looked up at him to see him smiling down at me. I suddenly felt so happy. Ryan was worrying, and I get it. I've been there before. We have both been through the insecurities that come with relationships, but as far as I can see, we will be fine, because we have each other.

----------

We all sat around the dinner table in silence. Today has been an eventful day. Jody hasn't said a word because when she came back, she was taken straight into the office to talk to Luke about the graffiti or whatever it was.

She looked like she had been crying. She's probably been punished or grounded or something, and she was in the office for a while. I've never seen Luke get properly angry, so I'm guessing it isn't a pretty sight.

Other than that, I was also sitting there with a bandage around my head still. I couldn't bring myself to taking it off. I was too scared it would really hurt or bleed everywhere or pull off a scab or something. I know that isn't really realistic but I was tricking myself into being scared of it.

Luke or Mai Lee, whoever answered the phone, was told about what happened this morning. Why do the school always feel the need to keep your guardians knowing what was happening in school? Like, what if I was too ashamed for them to know, or wanted to tell them myself? I dunno it just feels wrong.­

"So" started Tee with a smirk. "I hear you've been using the toilets as your canvas Jodes"

"So?" she grunted, much to every bodies surprise.

"Wait what?" Asked Billie. "Jody did what?"

"I wrote on the walls in the bathroom" she said plainly. As if it meant nothing.

"How did you even get caught?" Carmen asked. Honestly, that's a surprisingly good question. There are no cameras in the toilets, and it isn't like anybody would have snitched on her, because that's like, not a thing that people do. That's just how you lose friends and create enemies.

In fact, how did they even know there was any writing added to the walls? The toilets have loads of "artwork" in there already. Barely anybody ever goes in, but if I went in I probably wouldn't notice any new graffiti so how did they even find out?

"Don't ask me. I don't know. If I knew, then I would be sorting it out, and figuring out how to not let it happen again" she said through gritted teeth. She must be annoyed at people asking her questions so soon and when she is clearly upset about it.

"What did you write?" Asked Tee. She didn't look like she was trying to be annoying, she looked concerned. Like she thought something was wrong with Jody rather than just being confused and mad about it like the rest of us.

Jody did however, seem to stiffen at the question. Like she didn't want to say what it was. Maybe it's because other younger children are in the room and it was something rude, or maybe it was something personal that she needed to get out of her head. And maybe this was her only release and now people are getting mad at her for it and she feels like she no longer has any way to get these feelings out.

I mean she shouldn't have done it. That isn't the way forward. But maybe Tee is right to be concerned about her.

"Enough guys" I piped up. A few people gave me weird looks for defending her, including Jody herself. I just shrugged and tried to continue eating and ignored them all. I don't know the story and maybe Jody needs to be cut some slack for this. I don't know but I kind of feel sorry for her.