Changed For The Better

Sunday

I was called down for dinner so I stopped talking with Ryan. Tonight, we were having a sunday roast, which was cool. I told Mike and Agatha about my plans with Ryan for tomorrow which they were happy with.

I also asked them about school, and Mike said he would be driving me there since it's on route to his work anyway, but then he said I will have to walk home most days. Honestly, I'm not mad about it because I was kind of expecting to have to walk both ways all the time anyway.

We finished dinner off with one of the cupcakes that Agatha and I made earlier. Even though we had already had one today, they still tasted amazing! And there's plenty left as well, we made a load which is great. Ryan will definitely be able to try one tomorrow, and I hope he likes them.

In a way, I guess his judgement of the cupcakes will be the same as his judgement as acceptance of Mike and Agatha as my family. Yes I was sceptical at first, and might not have originally started this whole things for the right reasons, but now that the hardest part is over and done with, I'm really settling and enjoying myself here.

Luke, Mai Lee and all the others were wrong for doubting me on this one. I have done it. I have escaped the care system and moved to somewhere where I know I will be better off in the long run. I'm in a place where I am truly, and fully cared for. What more could I need?

Although, I have left a lot behind I guess. I mean, I left Ryan behind. And I left Mai Lee and Luke behind, but they have other people to care for, unlike Mike and Agatha, who only have each other and me to look after.

I'm still not that bothered about leaving Jody and all of the others. They never liked me much. Well, they kind of did. They used to like me, and I'm still not entirely sure what happened. I used to have friendships with them, but then they all seemed to suddenly decide that they didn't like me any more.

I mean, I am aware of the Harley situation, and I regret all of it, but if they ever liked me in the first place, they would do what Ryan has done and try to convince me that it wasn't down to me. And most of them hated Harley anyway, not that that justifies anything. Nothing ever could.

Thinking about it, it's almost as though they were trying to find an excuse to not like me. As if they liked me but didn't want to like me and needed a reason to express that. Even if we were friends back then, we certainly aren't now.

But now that I have left them all behind and they are no longer my problem, I can't help but think that maybe I was the one burning bridges. I guess as soon as they started to show any disliking towards me, I blocked them out. I went straight to thinking that they hated me.

Instead I should have just been the bigger person and sat them down, told them how I was feeling, listened to how they were feeling and try to resolve it, or explain it and come to some sort of conclusion or agreement, rather than just avoiding them and hating them in my head.

I guess it is too late now. I won't really see them anyway other than at school, and at school I am happy to be civil, but I won't act like a great friend to them. That would be lying. What if someone tells everyone about the Harley situation?

I mean everyone already knows that he died and how it happened, but none of them know that I had anything to do with it. If that sort of information gets out, then ... well I don't know, but whatever happens it won't be good.

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I woke up to the sound of the alarm on my phone. I switched it off and felt a weird sense of excitement. I don't know why, because all I'm doing is going to school. But since I haven't been to school since I moved here, it feels different, and that excites me.

It was great not having the stress of queueing up to get into the bathroom, or having to wait until Ryan was in the bathroom to get dressed. I just got dressed then brushed my teeth without a problem before heading down for breakfast.

Mike was sat reading the paper again, but Agatha was nowhere to be seen. Just as Mike had done, I helped myself to a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. It was quite dark still, and raining outside. Good thing I'm getting a lift.

Since I got up at the same that I would have at the dumping ground but didn't have to work around other people, I had a good half hour of spare time. In this time I decided to sort my hair out a bit. Normally I would just brush it and deal with the mess for the rest of the day, but instead today I gave it a good brush, then twisted the front part of it up and pinned it up.

It wasn't a massive difference, but it was a nice small change that kept my hair out of my face which is always good. after that I still had some spare time so I made my bed and sent my bed clothes and clothes from yesterday into the wash. Might as well keep it up while I have the chance.

Then Mike called me down, saying it was time to be getting ready to go. I grabbed my school bag and   slung it over my shoulder before walking down to the kitchen where Agatha was suddenly standing. As soon as I walked through the door she handed me a plastic box.

"Here's your lunch" she said. "I hope you like it. If not, let me know and I'll do something different for you tomorrow" she smiled. I had honestly completely forgotten about my pack lunch. "Have a good day honey, and I'll see you when you get home. Maybe bring an umbrella, in case it's still raining at the end of the day"

I did what she said and put an umbrella, along with the lunchbox into my bag. "See you later" I called as Mike and I left the house.