Changed For The Better

Impulse

I did it! I finished the film! Yeah I was really scared and yeah I jumped at every single opportunity, and yeah I was relying a lot on Ryan for emotional support, but I still did it!

It was kind of late when it finished so we decided it was time we went to sleep. Sleep was the last thing I felt like doing. Even when Ryan had just gone to the bathroom and I was alone, I felt uncomfortable. Like I was being watched.

I was shaken up to say the least. I hate that this is the effect horror films have on me. I don't feel alright by myself now, but I can't tell anyone that. I'll look like an absolute idiot if I do, specially after Tyler's little stunt from earlier.

No doubt he will have told all the others and they'll all be laughing about me behind my back. But I don't really care. Not yet anyway. It's when they all start talking about it in front of me when it becomes a problem.

"You okay then?" Ryan asked me.

"I'm honestly fine" I lied as I climbed into bed. He was already lying down in his own bed looking at me.

"Hmm, somehow I don't believe you." He laughed. "Seriously though, I don't want you having any nightmares yeah?"

"You say that as if I can control them"

"Well no I know you can't, I'm just looking out for you. I hate it when you have a bad night, specially now when there aren't that many free nights left,before school starts again"

"Noooo don't remind me" I whined.

"Sorry but it's right around the corner wether you like it or not"

"You're starting to sound like Mike"

"I am offended!" He said holding his hand to his chest dramatically.

"Well it's true" I laughed, he laughed as well.

"Speaking of Mike" he started, "do you miss him?"

"Do I miss him?" I asked, shocked at the question.

"Yeah, you know since he left?"

I struggled to think of an answer. I haven't really been thinking about wether I miss Mike or not. Heck, since he left I haven't resale thought of him at all apart from the first couple of days. I've tried to not think about him. You know, pretend he doesn't and never did exist so it makes moving on easier.

"Marie!"

"What?"

"I asked if you missed Mike"

"Oh yeah sorry"

"Don't apologise its fine"

"Okay, well, I dunno. If I miss Mike I mean. Like, he did a lot for me but he also did me a lot of harm and put me in bad places. And as much as I hate to admit it, Luke isn't a bad replacement. I had doubts at first, I practically hated him straight away but, I guess since then he has proved that he can do everything Mike could do. And that makes me think that maybe I only liked Mike so much because he was a father figure to me, which is something most of us have never really had. Like, he acted the way a dad should and that was comforting and refreshing and it felt like the thing that only he could do. But then Luke comes along and he does exactly the same thing, just fine. So maybe, the only reason I liked Mike was because it felt like he was the only person who could provide that fatherly figure for me, but now Luke is doing the same thing so I don't miss Mike"

"That was a surprisingly full answer"

"Yeah sorry. I guess I've just never really thought about it, so I'm just thinking out loud. Anyway how do you feel about the whole thing?"