Changed For The Better

Familiar places??

Ryan's POV

We were all stood around in the lobby and on the stairs waiting to find out where it was that we were going. I hate it when they don't tell us anything. Why the surprise? You can't please all of us, so someone, maybe everyone, is gonna be disappointed. why bother with the dramatic build-up?

Luke and Mai Lee both came out of the office with massive smiles on their faces. They're clearly proud of themselves about whatever it is we are doing.

"You guys ready?" Mai Lee asked with a clap.

"Ready for what? We don't know what we're doing" Sasha whined. She was right though. It's dark outside already so it won't be some stupid outdoor activity at least.

All I knew is that I really really wanted to see Marie, or at least hear from her. I had my phone in my pocket and was checking it frantically every few seconds just in case she sends me a message and for whatever reason my phone doesn't go off or vibrate. You know just in case.

We all piled into the minibus. I was sat next to Tyler near the front, and he was rambling on about something but I wasn't paying him attention at all. My mind was taken up wholly by Marie. what could she possibly be doing right now? Maybe she is sitting at home with a broken phone, just waiting for me to turn up at her door. What if it's upsetting her that I haven't already, but I just have no way of explaining myself to her?

"Mate are you even listening to me?"

"What?" I asked Tyler clueless as he randomly whacked me on the arm for no reason.

"Dude you need to stop worrying about her"

"Wait how did you..."

"It's obvious, you won't stop checking your phone and you're constantly spaced out for no other reason other than you miss her. Just stop it"

He sounded kind of annoyed. I haven't been that out of it have I?

"Sorry Tyler, I just miss her"

"Well maybe you could actually live in the moment, with your friends who are actually here, rather than wishing for her when she isn't?"

"Sorry Tyler" I replied, a little stunned. I didn't really know what to say to him to be honest.

"Sorry mate" he replied. "But you needed to hear that"

I thought about what he said for most of the journey from that point on. We didn't say much at all, I guess it kind of made me miserable, which only made me miss her even more. I know what Tyler is trying to say; he's trying to get me to stop thinking about it and to just try to get it out of my mind, and that way I'll enjoy myself more.

He's probably right.

But trying not to think about it only makes me think about it even more! It's driving me insane!

Luckily I had the window seat so I didn't have to awkwardly make eye contact with Tyler at all. It wasn't a fallout though, like there was probably nothing awkward about it. I just kind of felt like after what he said, well I don't know but I got the idea that he was mad at me for thinking of Marie so much which is understandable. He isn't exactly third wheeling but maybe that's how it feels to him.

The weather outside was miserable, much like me. I don't mean to be so down all the time, but this is just a lot harder than any of them understand. I still can't believe they made me go on this stupid trip rather than going to meet with Marie, or going to find her rather.

I know I shouldn't get worried when I don't know for sure if anything has happened. I also know that my thought process has started to go round in circles and I'm overthinking, but that's okay. Deep breaths Ryan, I am sure she is just fine and tomorrow you're gonna go and find her and it's gonna be fine. Everything will be just fine.