Changed For The Better

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A/N: So, some of you asked why I didn't update yesterday, since I said I was since I was too ill on Tuesday. Well basically, I received quite a bit of hate recently. Mostly on private messages so please don't go accusing anybody. I really didn't feel up to it yesterday. So today you have a 2600 word update, which is about double the size of a normal update. Hope you're happy 😊

I walked out of Jody's room. I felt like I should be sad, or angry or something but I don't. I don't really feel anything. In the past I would run to Ryan crying because of what she said, but now, it kind of doesn't get to me. Like, it still hurts, and a tiny part of me still tells me that she is right, but somehow, I'm not listening to it.

I walked in confusion down the hall and back towards our room, but was stopped by Candi as she reached the top of the stairs.

"Hey are you okay?" She asked. "You look...lost"

"I'm actually fine" I said in wonderment. "I just...I think..."

"Yeah?"

"I dunno. I should be sad, but I'm not"

"Okay...?"

"And it doesn't feel right"

"Marie what's going on?"

"Something Jody said. She wasn't nice. Yet, I don't seem to care"

"Surely that's a good thing?"

"Yes, surely"

"Okay, well, Mai Lee sent me to tell everyone that dinner will be ready soon."

"Okay, thanks Candi"

"Okay" was all she said before leaving me again. Was I being that weird? I'm just so confused by my own actions. Why aren't I upset? I should be upset. I hope I'm not getting ill or something. Maybe it's something in my head, like a mental disorder or something. Okay Marie, don't overthink things. I'm sure you will be fine.

I went back into mine and Ryan's room where he was sat in exactly the same position he was in before. I sort of lingered by the door, wondering whether it was worth it to close it or not since we had to go down to dinner soon anyway.

"You okay?" Ryan asked, without taking his eyes away from his phone. Wow Ryan.

"Yeah, it's just, Jody..she.."

"Marie what's happened?" Ryan asked, suddenly setting his phone down and leaning towards me, concern written all over his face. "Did she say something?"

"Well yeah but..."

"But what?"

"I just, I don't care. And I don't like that I don't care"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, surely I should be offended or something, but I'm not"

"Why? "what exactly did she say?"

"Just that like, she meant what she wrote on the wall. She thinks I have everyone pitying me and that sort of thing. Honestly, most of it didn't go in"

"And you think this is a bad thing?" He asked puzzled.

"Well don't you?"

"No, I think it's great that you no longer value her opinion. Look Marie, I've seen you in bad ways, really bad ways and I know how hard you have found things to get through, specially since coming here. So if you can finally say that someone's opinion doesn't matter, even if it is just one person's, then I'm proud of you"

"So there isn't something wrong with me? Like I'm not going mad or anything like that?"

"No. You're just growing up and moving on"