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Zayn's P.O.V. -Grab tissue- (November 11th)
It's been a whole week since the final incident with Louis, and I began to feel glad that I had delayed the funeral until this day. I didn't know Harry was going to get shot, or that any of that was going to happen, but I delayed the funeral because I needed a little more time to ready myself for this day. It turned out that delaying it was a great idea because Harry had been shot, and now, he was okay to come to the funeral. He's only in a small amount of pain due to the painkillers they put him on, but he was definitely doing better.
Caraline broke down when I had called to let her know that Harry was in the hospital, and she didn't understand the world. She rushed to the hospital to stay by his side, and I'm genuinely happy Harry has someone as good as Caraline. I knew she would treat him well, and I didn't have to worry about him treating her bad. Harry loved Caraline.
I had my family with me, and I sat on the couch with Jasper on my lap. He was messing with my car keys, and I just watched him, still in a state of confusion on how I'll ever be able to tell him about his mother.
My mom came out of the kitchen with Safaa by her side, a cup of water in her hands. "Zayn, are you ready to go?" she asked, generous gentleness in her voice.
"Yeah, let's go." I stood up, lifted Jasper up with me, and putting him on my hip as I walked. Doniya was waiting outside with her daughter and husband, and Waliyha was sitting on the swing chair, rocking slightly. "Come on," I said to them as the harsh sun hit my face as I stepped outside.
I put Jasper into his car seat, making sure the seat belt was tight enough around the car seat, and I slid the door closed before getting into my car. Putting the car into drive, I drove down the wide street, making a left onto A, which would take me straight to the freeway.
I turned on the radio, turning it down so that it wasn't too loud, and I listened to the song that played. It was a love song about how the guy would be all he promised to his girlfriend's dad that he'd be, and they would be together forever. It was about building love freshly, and saying I do... It brought tears to my eyes because I always thought of my life with Perrie just like that song expressed.
After 45 minutes of driving, I parked the car outside of a tall, black fence, and I turned off the ignition. Silently, the radio now off, I watched as my family walked through the gate of the cemetery, which was located behind a small local church, and I just sat in the car. An empty feeling coursed through me, tearing away at me. It was as if something was slowly eating me away, every feeling at a time.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I closed them tightly, laying my head over the steering wheel, my hands tightening around it. I let out a sob that sounded like a dying whale, and I held back the tears. My chest tightened in pain, and sat up, looking back at the beautiful baby in the backseat, his eyes innocent and unknowing.
