Rampaige

[32] Nightmare

DEAN'S POINT OF VIEW

"God fucking dammit" I muttered as I smacked my fist against the door of the hotel bathroom. I rested my head against the door trying to get the replaying images of the nightmare I had just woke up from out of it. But my mind wants me to suffer. "Fuck outta' my head." I groaned throwing my fists into my forehead trying to punch it out of me.

I had just lost my match against CM Punk and Randy Orton, I had just completely soiled any chances of ever becoming the United States champion. I didn't even lose because of a good fight either, I lost because the boys that I used to call my brothers decided to plant their revenge on me now and cost me the fucking match. Idiots. They don't know what they've started. There's going to be hell to pay. I stormed through the backstage area and just like usual every idiot steps right out of my way because if they didn't, well, let's leave that up to them to worry about. My hand locked on the door to the locker room as my eyes froze on something sickening. Randy had Paige shoved up against the lockers and his scummy fucking lips are all over her precious neck. She's loving it too, she's all over him... How the fuck did he get here so fast? I left him pretty well damaged out there... But that's not the issue. I tried to step out of my frozen tracks but my body couldn't move. I want to tear his god damn face off. All I can do is just stand here and watch, enduring the pain. "I should have upgraded to a real man a long time ago..." Paige whispered in his ear. He chuckled and cupped her face in his hands, planting a kiss on her lips.

I pounded my head against the tiled wall a few times trying to shake the nightmare from my memory. It won't go away. "Fuck Dean, it was just a dream." I reminded myself but that still wasn't enough. 

It felt so god damn real, it was so realistic. But I think the thing that hurts the most is that could one day turn into reality. I'm a fucking screw up, I don't deserve to have a smile on my face. I shouldn't be happy. One day Paige will realize that and she'll finally come across somebody that does deserve all the happiness that she gives me. That time may come a lot sooner than I think now that Orton and her are friends or something. Fuck.

"Dean?" Paige's gentle voice spoke behind the door. My eyes widened as her voice brought me back to the real world. I tried to speak but my voice had disappeared. "Dean?!" Her voice spoke a little more louder with a hint of worry. She shouldn't worry about me. I don't deserve to be cared about. I stared at the doorknob with wary eyes waiting for it to twist open. Which it did seconds later.

Paige peaked around the door, locking her eyes on mine. "Jesus christ, you scared me. Are you okay?" She asked taking a few steps closer to me. I pulled myself up from the bathroom floor and nodded. "I thought I was gonna' puke, I feel better now though." I lied, badly, but thankfully she didn't catch on. "Oh, do you want me to go get you some pepto bismol or something?" She asked sweetly. I seriously don't deserve somebody as sweet as her in my life. I shook my head, "I'm fine. I'll be back in bed in a few minutes." She nodded and left the bathroom.

Making it back into bed was the biggest struggle. Knowing that I'm sharing a bed with somebody who could easily be with someone so much better and more deserving that I am makes me feel pretty guilty. But at the same time lying next to her feels so right. She's everything that I've ever wanted. I need her. Without her I would be helpless. I would have absolutely nothing and I don't think I'd be able to fight out of it like I've done many times before.

I lied there for a while unable to even close my eyes, afraid I might drift back into that nightmare. I don't know how I'm even going to be able to look at Randy Orton again, it may have been a nightmare but the next time I see him I'm going to beat the shit out of him. I'll punish him for invading my head like that. I'll make sure that at Payback, he can't walk out of the arena on his own. He'll be going away for a while and I think that's exactly what I need.

"Go to sleep." Paige groaned as she shifted her weight behind me. I glanced at the clock, it's 4:23 AM and we've got a busy day tomorrow. I need sleep. I flipped around so I could wrap my arm around her and pull her warm body into my chest. I may not deserve it, but I need it.