Rampaige

[18] Good things don't last

DEANS POV

I sent my fist into the concrete wall again, feeding off of the numbing pain that followed the collision. My fist now looks like a bloody mess but it feels so damn good. For just a few seconds my mind was able to stray from Paige but of course she found her way back into my head just like she always does.

I shouldn't have lost it earlier but she pissed me off. She hid backstage without even letting me know. I thought the Wyatt's had got their hands on her and I was fucking terrified. But I know that her intention wasn't to fuck everything up, she was just trying to help.

I fucked up. Whatever the hell is between us, I just ruined it. I really like being around her and it's messing with me. I barely even know her and she's the most important thing to me right now. She's everything I want, everything I need. But of course good things don't fucking last for me.

My fist collided with the wall again sending a burning sensation up my arm. I began seeing spots of black. I just want to black out right now, I don't want to feel this anymore. I need a fucking break. I leaned against the wall, squeezing my bloodied fist against my chest. I closed my eyes hoping that the next time they open I won't remember any of this.

"Hey, you okay?" A female voice spoke. I nodded my head without opening my eyes. "You look like you could use a massage or something." She breathed against my ear. My eyes shot open. Summer Rae. Without any warning her hands were pressed against my shoulders as she rubbed her thumbs in a circular motion. It felt surprisingly good but an immediate guilt filled the place of any pleasure.

I shrugged out of her touch. "Knock it off." I mumbled, closing my eyes again. Her hands pressed against my chest. "Oh come on, don't be so shy. You need it." She spoke again. I sighed. I don't have the energy to fight her off of me right now. She's like a fucking mosquito. If I just pretend she's not here she'll go away, right?

After a little silence her lips crashed against mine catching me off guard. My body tensed up and my brain wouldn't react until I heard Paige's voice scream, "Fuck you both!" Immediately all of the feeling shot back through my veins and I shoved Summer away from me and tried to jog after Paige but my body is so weak and sore. God fucking damnit.

Her car door slammed before I could stop her. Immediately she burst into tears, nearly breaking my heart. I knocked on the window gently but she just revved up the engine and took off. Fuck.

I watched her car speed off out of the parking lot and I just stood there like a fucking idiot. Normally I'd laugh to myself and think 'fuck it, there's another girl waiting inside for me' or something like that but since Paige came along she's the only person I want to be around. It's fucking with me too because I don't normally get feelings like this for anybody.

The last time I felt anything like this; I felt it for Adalia Black. But it was different with her. I could actually deal with seeing her all lovey-dovey with her boyfriend, Seth Rollins. Sure I would have loved to be that guy that got to go home with her every night but in the back of my mind I knew she and Seth are made for eachother and there was no way I could get in between that. Because of that I brought out the old me, this me.

But I'm fading away again. I'm going back to being that softie because of a girl. I hate it and I love it. It really doesn't make any sense but then again nothing in my life makes sense. I really don't fucking know what to do anymore. I ran my hands through my hair viciously trying to collect myself.

A chill in the air brought me back to my senses, I'll figure this out tomorrow. But right now I just need to fucking destroy something. I stormed through the backstage area which is emptying out by now since the shows almost over. I can feel my anger boiling inside and I know I'm gonna burst any minute.

I turned the corner to see CM Punk taping his wrists for his match next. His US Title hung loosely around his waist. He doesn't deserve that belt. I brushed passed him but didn't get too far before a darkness clouded my thoughts.

I turned around quickly and ambushed him from behind. He never saw it coming. I bashed his face off of the steel crate and he fell to the ground but it didn't satisfy me enough. I just kept clawing and punching until he had totally stopped fighting back.

He began coughing, trying to speak but he choked on his words. I got in a couple kicks to the gut before referees and other superstars pulled me away from him. Immediately medical staff were evaluating him. They're all screaming at me but it's not making any sense. Satisfaction buzzed through my body.

Once Punk was hauled off into the trainers room I strode into the locker room collecting the last of my stuff. The other superstars parted quickly out of my path, good call. I zipped up my duffel bag and turned to leave.

But I caught a certain superstar peaking around his locker, watching me. Zack Ryder. That doesn't settle well with me. I dropped my bag and backed him into the corner. Fear struck across his face.

I grabbed a fist full of his shirt and tugged against it, "Got something to say?" I spat. He shook his head frantically. Gently I let go of his shirt an patted out the wrinkles I had made. "Atta boy." I spun around on my heel but quickly turned to crash my fist across his skull. I couldn't help but laugh at how fast he fell to the floor.

Once again I got my stuff together and headed out the door. As I made my way down the hallway and near the door a pack of familiar faces stood next to it. My heart stopped and all of the pain re-entered my body. My fist began to throb at my side and my head aches. Adalia, Seth, and Roman all stood at the end of the hallway. Seeing them just brings a whole lot of unwelcome feelings into my body.

The car ride to the hotel was treacherous. I kept spacing out on the road and that nearly led me into the opposite lane a few times. I can't get Paige out of my mind. She's a fucking beautiful girl and I know if I don't fix this soon some other guy will be all over her and I know I can't handle seeing her with somebody else.

The beers couldn't numb my pain fast enough. Soon I began to feel weightless and all my problems drifted into tomorrows hangover. But a dark anger had taken over. I don't even know why I'm so angry but I just am.

A few beers later and shit was being thrown across the room. I began smashing plates across the floor and tearing the room apart.

There was a harsh knock on the door that brought me back to the real world. I thought against answering the door until their fist crashed upon it a few more times irritating me.

"Mmm'ind ya effin' business!" I slurred as I swung the door open. "Would you please shut the fuck up, some of us -" There stood Paige staring at me with horror. She's the last person I would have expected. Her mouth hung open as she suddenly lost her will to speak.

She rolled her eyes and quickly turned back down the hallway, sliding into the room a few doors down. My chest tensed up. I stood there in the doorway partially frozen for a good two minutes, rerunning what had just happen over and over in my mind.

As much as I want to barge into her hotel room and tell her what really happened and beg her to forgive me, I know I can't do it like this. I know she's not stupid like most of the girls I've dated. I can't just tell her I'm sorry. I need to prove that I'm sorry.

I closed the door and slumped against it, trying to focus my very blurry vision. For the first time ever I actually wish I was sober. I need to stop drowning my pathetic life in all the beers I can get my hands on

I cleaned up most of the mess I had made as I tried to ignore all of the horrible drunken things going through my mind. An ice cold shower helped steady the buzz that I had going on. Within a few minutes I made it into bed still soaking wet, but I just want to sleep. I dread waking up tomorrow morning.