Rampaige

[58] Drown

As much as I was craving my hotel bed earlier, it's just not cutting it. This lonesome feeling won't go away and I can't get Dean off my mind. I overreacted earlier and I don't want there to be any stress between us especially at a time like this where we hardly have any time to talk. Just a little bit of stress right now can ruin everything.

I glanced at the clock. 1:57 AM. There's no way this horrible headache is going to let me sleep anytime soon and even if it did there's too much on my mind. I can't even close my eyes without the whole scene from tonight playing out.

I need to see him.

I pulled my phone off of the charger and scrolled down to 'lunatic cutie' which I recently changed Dean's contact to but then I thought about it, I want to surprise him. Instead I scrolled down to 'roman' and texted him asking what room number Dean is. He told me to meet me outside his hotel room and he'll give me the key that Dean had given to him in case of an emergcence.

"How's things with the big guys?" Roman asked with a smirk, as if he knows the answer to that question.

"It's actually not that bad, once you get passed their douchebaggyness they're pretty cool." I said, kind of surprising myself. "It sucks. I miss you guys." I smiled.

Roman laughed, throwing his thick hair back with his hand. "Dean and I got somethin' big planned. You jus' needa' be careful." He smirked.

"Don't get me in any trouble!" I laughed.

"Nah. It'll be good, jus' watch. Anyway I'll let you and Dean do ya' thang. Here's the key. He wasn't in a great mood on our way to the hotel so he might have a few beers in him. I'd advise ya' not to go in there but I know he needs you." Roman advised before strolling down the hallway.

I stood in front of Dean's room, 461, and slid the key through the lock.

A strong smell of alcohol quickly filled the room as I closed the door behind me, scanning the large room for Dean. Beer cans and broken glass bottles were tossed throughout the room. My eyes locked on the bathroom door that had been left a crack open as the light peaked through.

"Dean?" I shouted quietly throughout the hotel room before walking towards the bathroom. The violent sounds of somebody throwing up quickened my pace as I swung the door open, and there he is, vomitting up whatever he had just chugged down.

"It's okay, Dean. I'm here." I spoke softly as I hurried towards him, squatting next to him and rubbing my hand against his back that vibrated against my touch.

He flung his hand up and flushed the toilet before dropping back against the wall. His hazy eyes are surrounded by dark circles that stand out from his unusually pale skin. His body shook violently against his control.

"Why?" Was all his raspy, tired voice could force out.

"Because I love you." I spoke. Hating the fact that this is what Dean does when he's by himself and upset. I hate that he drowns his problems in alcohol. The poor guy's going to drink himself into his grave.

"You don't love me. You said so t'night." He mumbled shaking his head carefully before grabbing at his temples with his hands.

I squinted my eyes as our little arguement from earlier replayed in my head. The only thing I said that could even possibly make him think that was when I said 'I hate you!' but that was only an act. That was so Randy didn't suspect anything.

"No, you goof, I only said that to distract Randy from the fact that you and I were even talking!" I laughed, pulling myself between him and the wall.

"Well that woulda' been good to know before I put all that shit in my system." He flashed a smirk.

"I'm sorry, I love you, and I'll always love you. You're stuck with me, babe." I laughed as I pulled myself up and ran the water in the tub. "We gotta' get you cleaned up. You smell."

"I love you too. Only you. There won't ever be anybody else." He said as he forced himself to his feet, wobbling towards the sink.

"Take your clothes off, a hot bath should help soothe your body and help you smell a little better." I spoke as I wrapped my arms carefully around his waist.

My sudden demand almost brought all the color back to his pale skin. I helped pull him out of his shirt that reaked of booze. He did the rest and I promised I'd keep my eyes closed as he got fully nude, which I did.

"I'll be right back." I smirked before heading into the kitchen and grabbing some dish soap. A cheap way to make a bubble bath? Better than nothing.

I filled the bath with bubbles as Dean watched with interest. I pulled my shirt off along with my jeans, that certainly caught his attention.

"Don't worry I won't peak!" Dean laughed as he covered his eyes with both hands.

Seconds later I was slipping into the bathtub next to him. The hot water felt great on my sore body, and Dean's body gave me back that blanket of security I had been lacking the past few days.

His arm wrapped around my shoulder as I rested my head on his. For most people this is probably the cheesiest thing a couple could do but for me, it's heavenly, I couldn't wish for a better way to spend my night.

"Thanks, babe. If you hadn't shown up, I'd probably be on my way to the hospital about now." Dean spoke, breaking my heart a little more.

"Dean, seriously. I don't care what the problem is, you can't keep drowning it in alcohol. You're going to kill yourself and do you know how much alcohol I'd have to pour down my throat to make that news even bareable... Just call me or Roman. We're more than happy to help you through it." I stared into his eyes and spoke seriously. He replied with a nod.

"I love you, Paige Bevis." Dean spoke, using my full name. Nobody ever uses my full name, I'm surprised Dean even knows it.

"I love you more, Dean Ambrose." I teased, leaning in for a kiss but remembered the scene I had walked in on. "Yuck! I'm not kissing that mouth." I laughed.