When I was little,
I'm pretty sure I started out on 0%
And as I grew up,
Laughing and smiling.
Loving and caring,
I filled myself to 100%
But everyday after,
I could feel it going down.
At first it happened slowly,
99%
99%
98%
98%
96
94
91
But then it happened quicker,
89%
85%
80
78
And it slowed down on the happy days too,
So I'd try them out.
I'd try making happy days,
I wouldn't think so much.
Find new hobbies,
Meet new people.
And it would work,
Because for a while it stayed.
It didn't increase,
But it hadn't decreased either.
So I was okay,
For a while.
Then somebody knocked it right down again,
73%
And it kept moving,
72
71
70
But it stopped for a while,
I made more friends.
I talked about my problems,
I moved away from old ones.
I moved a lot,
And it moved with me.
Then there was the day I turned eighteen,
And I realised.
I'm on 50%.
I don't know where it happened,
But somewhere along the line it had.
And now
I know I'm just between
23.5 and 7
23.5 and 7 %
The scary part is,
That I do know how that happened.
Ever since I got to the halfway mark,
The halfway point that kicked the process into motion.
I kept dropping.
And I knew when.
And I knew why.
But I didn't understand.
I still don't.
Because I wanna be happy.
But I really just can't.
