If only they knew,
If only they knew of what I'm about to do,
If only there was someone who knew exactly what I was going through.
If only time had slowed down at some points,
And happier moments lasted longer.
If only shoes weren't hard to fill,
And people would have stayed longer.
If only life wasn't such a mess,
And I wasn't put up to the test.
Maybe mine would still be alive,
Maybe I'd still be by your side.
If only my life had went my way,
Then maybe then I could've stayed.
I wouldn't have minded the occasional set back,
The fights,
The drags, the minor let down.
I was okay with tiny errors,
And simple mulfuctions of the human itenry called the brain.
I didn't mind the plain 'ol heartbreak.
I swear to God I was okay.
But let's be honest, that's not why I chose to kill myself.
It was the in betweens
the little things.
The anger.
The pain.
The hate,
The hurt.
It's was everything that I didn't mention.
Everything I might have left out.
That was what hurt the most.
What pained, what stained.
And I'm sorry,
I do apologise, and sincerely at most.
If that detail I left out, was simply
You.
(January 12, 2018)
