You know what the most scariest thing is?
It's the fact that when I'm sitting ready in the moment and trying to convince myself to kill myself, I won't have a hard time convincing it.
I'll actually succeed at convincing myself to take my life.
And that's what scares me the most, how ready I am to go.
But not scared enough not to follow through.
And it's rather sad that the saddest thing to me is how I'm drifting through life when my soul has already packed it's bags, just waiting at the door for me to finally come along.
And it's sad how I'm not sad about leaving, but encredibly crippled on staying.
(March 20, 2018)
