When thoughts are running through my head over and over again, it's never really anything new.
It's usually exactly the same as the last.
How I want so much yet the question that always follows is, 'Will it?'
Will it actually happen?
Will I get it?
Will I be the kind of happy that I want?
Will my dreams come true?
Will it?
And then 'What if?'
What if I don't?
What if it won't?
What if this takes possession over me before anything gets a chance to see the light?
Before my aspirations even get to meet the presence of the real world?
What if it doesn't happen?
What if?
My mind could spiral endlessly but all I'd really ever want is to stop.
To stop thinking.
And just sleep.
To sleep, and sleep forever.
And never wake up.
Because I'm tired.
I'm that tired that thinking exhausts me to no end.
I can't even breathe anymore without feeling out of breath.
The effort that comes from simply living is just too much for me.
I can't anymore.
I can't.
