I can't sleep.
I feel hot and bothered.
My mind feels empty but full.
My chest feels heavy.
Why is everything so heavy?
You know, I actually don't want to belong anymore.
So why am I taking so long to just go?
There's a quote that says, "If you don't belong, then don't be long."
So why am I taking so long.
I'm so tired.
Everyday is a suicidal thought.
Everyday I battle my tendencies.
And I'm just so sick and tired of it.
It's either I can't sleep.
Or I'm too tired to function and sleep really early just to wake up in the middle of the night.
I'm empty.
So empty that I don't even feel like my soul is even a part of my body anymore, it's as though I am walking beside myself.
Literally.
I'm exhausted.
I don't care much anymore.
I haven't handed in a project that had to be done a while ago, and I still couldn't care less.
I don't even know if I can make it to university anymore.
Where I was going to do one of two things; either 1) kill my self in my dorm room or 2) meet my true friends instantaneously.
I'm not gonna lie, I prefer the latter but it's the former that's really tempting.
And I'm not sure I can wait anymore.
I'm not sure I want to even wait anymore.
(Tuesday 3 April 2018)
