Because of Joe

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I was walking in the rain my hair sticking to my face. I didn't know where to go my apartment was to far away and my thoughts went straight to Sebastian. Waiting for the subway was useless. His apartment was closer. I stood under a store front taking my phone out of my bag. I called him. I wiped my eyes and nose. "Hello?" I sniffled.

"Anne I thought you were at the party." He says.

"Sebastian are you home?" I asked.

"I just did. Why what's wrong. Anne are you out in the rain?"

"Sebastian I'm outside." I felt tears coming back to my ears.

"I'll be right there. Stay where you are." He says. I put my phone away and I bite my lip to keep me from crying. Shivering I held myself together and I started walking around the street and I sat down on the curb. I feel so worthless. My hands shook as I covered my face. The rain stopped and I looked up Sebastian was standing over me with an umbrella."Anne." He crouched down so we were eye level. "Your going to get sick. Let's get you inside." He took my arm.

"Sebastian I'm so sorry I had to disturb you." He looks at me with worry in his eyes. He shakes his head and he takes me into the lobby.

"You've been crying." He puts his arm around my shoulder. "What happened?" He opened the door to his apartment.

"I can't even explain." I wipe my face.

"Here let me get you a towel. Sit down. Then we can talk." He ushers me to the living room. I see his sketchbook and a glass of whiskey or watever it was kept it open.

"Anne tell me why are you crying?" He sits down in front of me. The towel was put around me. "I hate seeing you like this."

"I saw...Joe would a different girl. They were kissing at the party and he told me he didn't know why he kissed her. He was... smiling and I saw it with my two eyes." Just the memory of it made me cry. Sebastian put his hands on my cheeks and he wiped off the tears. "I was supposed to be happy today Sebastian. I don't know I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. I regret it. I don't know why but even that and I still love him." I covered my face and he took me into his arms.

"No don't regret it. Anne don't ever go back. He will do this again to you and you will be hurt. I don't want to see you hurt"

"He didn't know how to explain himself." I mumbled on his chest.

"If he loved you he wouldn't have kissed a different girl. The only girl he's supposed to see is you." He kissed the top of my head and I cried because I felt so weak.

"Sebastian I'm so angry I don't know what to do." I pulled away from him.

"Don't be." He strokes my hair and I wiped my eyes on the towel. "I'll give you some extra clothes. Change out of these. Your going to be sick." He leaves me again. I looked at my phone as so many messages popped up. I shut it off not wanting to see his name.

I was changing into a tshirt and flannel pajamas. Sebastian made tea and I washed my face to get rid of the makeup. "Thank you so much Sebastian I don't know where I was going to go after tonight." I said standing at the doorway of the kitchen.

"You can stay if you want. The rain isn't going to stop until tomorrow morning." He hands me a mug.

"I'll sleep on the sofa." I said.

"I have a guest room upstairs." He turns his back to me to pour himself more tea.

"Okay." I said. I sat back down in the living room.

"Is anyone looking for you?" He sits by me. I nod. "Did you tell them where you are?" I shake my head.

"I don't want them following me. I need time to think." I said. "Besides Joe must be busy with his new girlfriend." Sebastian leans back and his hand comes next to mine.

"I'm here Anne. You can always talk to me." His fingers tangle with mine. I smiled and he leans a little closer to kiss my temple. I'm reminded of Joe and I look down at my tea.

Later on he showed me to my room for the night. I thanked him again for letting me stay. He closed the door and I sat down on the bed. I turned my phone back on. I had 20 missed calls from Joe. I read his text messages. I closed my eyes and put my phone under the pillow. I shake my head and put the heels of my hand on my eyes. I need to toughen up.

(Author's Note. Listen to the Neighbourhood- Jelou$y)

I lay awake and I see the lights are still on outside. Sebastian's shadow under the door. He stayed out there and I sit up. "Sebastian?" He opens the door.

"I was going to knock I didn't know if you were awake." He came into the room closing the door behind him.

"I can't sleep." I said.

"Oh." He sits down next to me. "Me neither. I keep thing about you. I've never seen you like this before. I just needed to see if you were okay." Sebastian turns his head to me and he just looks at me for a long time. I try not to notice. His finger hooked a stray hair behind my ear. "Your such a beautiful girl. Joe wasted something so beautiful." I put my hands together and he sits a little closer taking my hand. I look at him and he was staring at my lips. My heart was beating. Out of no where both my hands were on his face. I kissed him and I took him by surprise.

"I'm conflicted..." I whispered.

"Shush." He says. "Anne I hope you know that I still love you." My mind tells me that I need to drown myself in him to forget about Joe. I kissed him again and his hand reached up to my hair. He lays me back and anger fuels me. His kissing became more urgent and he moves down my jawline to my neck. He takes of his shirt and unbuckled his pants. "I'll take the pain away." He says. I pulled him back into a kiss. I nod a yes and he pulls down my pajama pants. His weight was on me again and he takes both my wrist to pin on top of my head. Sebastian's eyes took me all in. No turning back now. I need to hurt Joe as much as he hurt me.

* * *

Pieces of Sebastian's hair had fallen free and are now on my face. His hand had a grip on one of my wrist and his other hand gripped the bedsheets beside my head. He feels completely different and my mind went blank after. The bed shook like a beating heart at first and then it shook like it was beating while someone was running. His teeth were clenched and my eyes saw someone completely different. I see Joe and I touched his jawline. He looked at me and went for a kiss. The image disappeared and I see Sebastian's face. His mouth parts and a low groan comes out. My freed hand goes on his neck as he pushed himself against me harder than before. I kissed him and he smirks like everything he's ever wanted was now his. He kissed me on my neck before it was all over. Sebastian lets go of my wrist which had marks of his tight grip. He collapsed next to me. We haven't said a word to each other. He only whispered my name again and again. I don't think there is anything to say.

* * *

I woke up sore and I felt tears in my eyes again. Not because of the pain. It's what I've done. I've realized I've done something stupid like Joe. Worse. Sebastian's legs were tangled around mine trapping me. His arms wrapped around my chest. I pulled him away from me. Sitting up I bite my lip and cried quietly. I pulled the duvet around me. Sebastian's hand went on my thigh and his eyes opened. "Your crying." He quickly gets up.

"I got you into a big mess Sebastian." I looked at him and he put his forehead on mine.

"I'm going to clean up that mess." He kissed me and he lays my head on his chest and I continued to cry because I was scared.