Because of Joe

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"Paris? With Sebastian?" Ilani was in her pajamas blogging. I was sitting cross legged on the bed writing down the orders due to today's runway show.

"Yea my parents said yes I can go with him." I picked up my phone hoping to see if Sebastian texted.

"Wow he got his blessing."

"Please...besides he told me this was my birthday present from him." I gushed.

"Yea are going to break up with him in Paris?"

"Hell no. Are you serious?" I looked at her. There went a few beats before she sighed.

"Joe wanted me to give you something by the way." She leaves my room and it takes her a few minutes to come back. It was a small wrapped boxed. "You better start thinking about your boyfriend out there asking for forgiveness." She lets me be and I opened the box. There was a cd inside and there was writing going around the whole disc. I put it down and there was a folded letter. I took the disc out and I realized it was his handwriting with the sharpie. I wasn't sure if I should just dispose everything pretend nothing happened. My heart told me different.

'My beautiful Anne I put this playlist together for you. It's almost like an apology letter but in music because I know how much it means to you. I choose the artists that you know so well. The words they have sung are things I wish I can tell you. I'm hoping you can forgive me because I can't forgive myself. I love you dearly.'

I turned the disc everytime it started a sentence because he wrote it in a circle. My hands trembled as I put it into my laptop. I wiped my eyes from the tears. I took out the letter and opened it. It was written by hand and a few tears fell on to it. The cd started.

When I Was Your Man- Bruno Mars. It came on first and I choked with tears. I tried to keep myself cool.

'Dear Anne,

I don't know where to start my pleading on forgiving me. But I want to say that I have been so selfish and stupid for not being strong enough to resist. I didn't think about you and I hate myself for not doing so. Every morning I feel this heavy weight on my chest and when I reach over to touch the empty side of my bed I think of you. Every time I hear your name my heart longs for you and I just wanted you to say mine again because when you did I knew you were in love with me. When I heard you were with Sebastian I didn't want to believe it at first but I wanted you to be happy. That's all I want for you. I couldn't be happy because it pained me every time I saw you with him.'

I wiped my eyes and took deep breaths. The song changed to 505-Arctic Monkeys. He knew what I liked exactly. I continued my reading.

'When you told me you didn't want to see me anymore I flew to LA to give you some space. I stayed there for a while and every time I tried to remember you I see you crying. You don't know how much it hurts me to see you cry like that. I had so much to show you but you left to early and I want a second chance to do so.'

I was breaking down again. The barrier I have created to block him out has been kicked down. Jeez Joe.

The Scientist-Coldplay started.

'Anne I miss you so much and I would do everything to get you back. I just want to say sorry to you until you forgive me and love me again. I wanna start over with you and I would do everything to make you happy again.'

I had to stop reading because it was getting to hard to read. I clutched the letter to my chest putting my hand to my mouth to muffle my cries. The music droned on. All of Me-John Legend.