An Outlet: Part 4

14 July, 2018 - Last Day Of First Internship.

So my internship ended today. My first ever internship. And I don't really know what to feel about it. 

Or I have so many emotions going on that none of them is sticking out. Kristen had got me this internship and she had always told me that the environment at her work place is quite chill and she gets to learn a lot there. Which was one of the main reasons I agreed to stop looking for a finance internship and settled for this one instead. 

And yes, the environment was chill. At first I found it pretty weird to behave so casually with my boss, Boss R. Eventually, I opened up. Kristen, Boss R and then later Boss H, all of their dynamics with one another, and my bosses' attitude towards me, helped me to be really comfortable with my work and open about my opinions. Basically the atmosphere was so informal with them that I did not get excessively anxious about the work I did there. 

Coming to the people around me. I had never thought that I would talk to anyone besides Kristen. But I met a couple of people there (both interns and employees) and had a fun time with them. They made it a point to come talk to me, involve me in their jokes and general conversations. I appreciate that. A lot. 

There were other staff members who helped me along the way. The peon, the finance head, the tech guys, graphics guys, Boss R and Boss I, all of them spoke properly to me. Never made me feel lower to them just because I was a temporary intern.What I feel extremely proud about is the fact that there were people who came and told me either not to leave from the organization and/or that they will miss me. Having struggled with being the 'invisible one', it feels nice to know that your presence was felt and looked forward to. 

From a professional stand point, my biggest achievement was when the people I worked with saw me as good worker and told me that I did well. And I got this feeling throughout the internship. Ofcourse I am not going to be too proud about it but I know I have given my level best to the work that I have done and getting praised for it is always going to make me feel good. My work helped me a lot. 

My primary job was to coordinate with writers, editor and illustrators. I fucking spoke to so many strangers these past two months it is not even funny. This was the most ironic job ever. The first time I had to speak to someone on behalf of the company, I had a massive internal meltdown. These two months have improved my social anxiety to quite some extent. I can never be too thankful for it. This was and still is one of my major struggles in life and I am happy that I put in that much effort to work on it, my job obviously giving me the platform to do so. Along with my social skills, this internship helped me with my written English, time management, design, visualization skills.

Having said all of this, it is my time to leave. My intent was to learn something in these two months of summer vacation and I have. I had a great time in this organization and will truly miss it but I am completely okay with not continuing here.

And I haven't forgotten my life or my goal that I had before this internship started.

Finance.

That is the line I have chosen for myself and I will go forward with it. I will struggle if I have to but I will make a career out of Finance. I know that that is where my interests lie. I wanted to do a Finance internship this summer to get a hang of how Finance functions in the actual world but I did not get to do that. My work was nowhere near Finance and it would not have helped me directly in my career. And I cannot get stuck to doing what I was doing in the office cause that is not what I want to do in life, to be very frank. My boss wanted me to consider taking up at least an editors' job but no, I have to move on. And I will.