An Outlet: Part 4

13th October, 2018 - #HappyJiminDay

Dear Park Jimin,

To be completely honest, I did not notice you at all when I first saw the Flinch video. As in I knew you were there but you just felt like a filler to the group. I know that's highly judgmental of me and I'm really sorry for thinking that way. But maybe this is why it took me the longest time (out of all the members) to realize just how great of a human being you are.

First of all, no one can deny that you're an incredible performer! You perfectly reflect the mood of the song and translate that feeling into your movements and expressions, be it energetic, powerful, soulful, graceful, cute or sexy. You have a unique voice too. And I want you to be proud of it.

You seem to be highly self-conscious of your looks and abilities. Of course, everyone does. But.. I am not trying to console or flatter you when I say that you are a bloody talented individual. You need give yourself a little more credit than you do. I can see that it is getting better and that's a good thing.

What's ironic is that even though you're really hard on yourself, you're like a pillar of support to the other members. From whatever I have seen, you are the frontrunner of TEAM BTS. You love your members a lot, believe in the team and want OT7 to be together at all times. I can say that you're a glue who brings all the members together. You seem to have really good relationship with all of the BTS members. You seem to care a lot about your members, especially V. I absolutely love the way you encourage, support and take care of V, who I think you consider as your best friend? Because of the same age?

A part of what makes me relate to you is that you're sensitive and I don't want you to take it in a negative sense. It shows how much respect and consideration you have towards other people and towards the work that you do.

One thing is that you're very fun person. I feel like you have a very varied sense of humour. Apart from Jin's laugh, I look forward to your laugh and reactions as well.

Jiminie, I've learnt how to accept people the way they are because of you. Of course your dedication and extreme will power to improve yourself is also something that resonated with me and have contributed to my goals as well.

Happy Birthday Park/Jimin! Hope you stay happy with your life as Jimin or Park Jimin. I purple you!💜

Today was a lit day!

So it was Paul's birthday a couple of days ago and he was treating us today. His main motive was to get Kristen and I drunk and.... you can say he was successful.

I had initially decided not to get drunk because my parents had no idea about my plans. I had also decided to eat something in the morning instead of drinking on an empty stomach. Both of which.....hehe. I did eat some chips on my way tho. I just had to eat something.

Kristen and I met up outside our destination and went in together because Paul was going to take some more time. I have been in a place with a bar before but today was the first time I ordered something there. Well, that's a lie, kind of. First of all, I myself didn't order anything, my friends did. And secondly, I did go to a lounge on Paloma's birthday. Let's just say this was the first time I went to a brewery during the daytime and had alcoholic beverages there. I have heard that people look down upon people who drink during the day but I mean, why? 

Paul finally arrived and after giving him the hilarious gifts and a long time of just looking at the menu (blankly for Kristen and I), we ordered some whiskey for ourselves along with some chicken nachos because Kristen and I were very hungry. We were having a great time even before the drinks came. We always do. 

So our drinks arrived and we collectively decided to have our first sip neat. I had had neat before so I thought I was cool with it. But OH MY GOD did it burn my throat. I had never felt this kind of burn before in how many ever little times I have had drinks. This one hurt like a bitch tho. Maybe the ones I had before were cheap as shit. 

Then we went for a sweet vodka cocktail with some three cheese garlic bread to go with it. I don't think I'll ask for any sweet drinks from now on. The Whiskey was bearable but the vodka tasted like medicine. All of us were tipsy by then but we realised it only when we got up to go to the washroom. My head felt very heavy and even though I could walk properly, I would have easily missed a step if I didn't concentrate on my walk.

I called Alex in the middle and he was positive that I was fully drunk which wasn't true. I was totally tipsy but I was able to control what came out my mouth then. We had great fun tho. We spoke and laughed a lot! We also played a round or two jenga and we did really really well. In fact, Kristen and I weren't even able to play so well when we were fully sober. 

At around 4, we decided to get out of the place, buy some rum and cold-drink and go to the sea-side. Yep, it was when I was out of the place when I can classify myself as drunk. I was able to walk but I had to hold someone's hand. We eventually went to the seaside and found ourselves a spot. I had decided not to drink anymore because I needed some time before I sobered up and went home. Somewhere during our conversation, I picked up the bottles.... I was positively drunk after that. It hurt my ego that I was the only one like this. I can understand that Paul is used to drinking but Kristen seemed perfectly fine and it was the first time for both of us. I thought I had a good capacity but maybe not? Damn, that hurt. I told this to those two too.

That's not the only thing I them. I told them a little bit about some incidents that happened in school that kind of started my trust issues and who I term as my 'best friends'. Both of them already knew the incident but didn't know how much the incident had affected me. I am perfectly over that incident but it is still something that I will never forget. Speaking of best friends, I think I also mentioned Sasha somewhere in the middle. 

Ultimately, it was time for us to leave. But not before we took some pictures and before I sobered up and was able to travel on my own. Kristen left first because she stayed nearby and she had to meet her parents for dinner at that time. Paul accompanied me to the station. I think on our ride there, we did have some meaningful conversation, which was ironic considering our state. Is it ironic? I don't know. 

I came home, 90% sober. I could still feel my head being heavy. Alex was giving me funny looks. I'm sure it must be amusing to see his sister like this. I felt like calling up Sasha because I remembered talking about her to those two. Such a good decision. I told her everything I did and said today and she seemed very amused and excited to hear how my first drunk experience was. We spoke more about her life. She has a boyfriend now! We had a really long and a good chat after quiiiiite a long time. I miss this woman SO MUCH! We decided to try and see if we can spend New Years' together at a music festival. Initially I thought this was such a good plan. However, I don't think I'll be allowed to go through with it.

My head still feels a little heavy so I'm going to sleep early today and I hope that I don't have my first hangover experience. Lol.

AMAZING DAY!