An Outlet: Part 4

5 September, 2018.

Today was such a good day!!

Let us first start with a very random observation. There was a stray dog in the train today, sleeping beneath one of the seats. That is totally not common because even though there are stray dogs on the platform, they rarely ever get onto a train.

I reached college a little late because I wanted to put an effort into my appearance today. But of course I paid full attention in class and got the sums right.

We got done with our lectures at 1:30PM and the event was at 5PM so we had to while away our time till then. We went to the resident canteen and ate our food there. Paul also joined us in the middle and after having lunch, we waited at a seating area until 3:30PM. In that time I composed a small message for my friend's upcoming birthday which would go on the gift that we're collectively giving her.

Obviously I also revised my 30 second speech. While we were waiting, I met one of my friends who is a part of the college band participating in the college fests. He told me that they had qualified to the next round and I was happy about that but the conversation after that did not sit down well with me.

He told me that they chose to perform a Zico song because literally everyone else were performing BTS. I was fine with that information because obviously I knew people would perform BTS and Zico is a really good artist as well. But then he started trash talking BTS saying thing like "Can you believe they named themselves that?" and "They are the One Direction of Kpop". 

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What the fuck?! First of all, One Direction was not bad. They became popular for a reason. They were (and still are) talented individuals. So comparing anyone to One Direction should not be considered as an insult. And yes, they are the One Direction of KPop in the way that it has a become a fad to hate on them primarily because they skyrocketed to international fame and their fan base is 'considered' to be only filled with 'hormonal teens'. Bitches don't even care to know the people they are hating on. Bitches don't try to understand the reason behind anyone's popularity. The concept of herd mentality applies to you too bitch. You wouldn't have thought the same if you tried to go beyond the whole hype and tried to actually uncover who BTS is, what do they stand for, what does their NAME stand for. 

A few years ago I legit would've stopped stanning someone if I heard something bad about them from the people surrounding me, out of fear of being judged by them. To be completely honest, I made that mistake with none other than One Direction themselves. In 2012, I believe, I started following 1D only because my schools friends did. I did not know anything about them but they were the CRAZE back then and since I wanted to fit in, I adopted the craze. I even made one of their photos as my Facebook wall. But as soon as the new trend of hating them began, I tried to eliminate every one of my connection to them. Probably it was successful because no one really remembers me as a person who loved 1D. 

Which is not a complete lie. I have come to realise that both me getting in and out of the 1D craze had something to do with fitting in. I didn't really love 1D, nor did I hate them. In fact because I did not follow 1D because I liked them, it was very easy for me to try to shut them out of my life when everyone else were against them.

But it is completely different this time around. Sure, I wanted to know about BTS because I had heard quite a lot about them but I stuck with septet because I wanted to. I was blown away by their performance, I fell in love with their individual personalities, I believe in their message and worth. I became an ARMY because of myself. So it's going to take A LOT more than just your unnecessary opinions about BTS to get me to not like them. I think I have expressed this before but India is not ready for KPop and this is the proof. There are a lot people who are going to hate on them and there is no point trying to get them to see your view point. They are never going to warm up to BTS and they lose when we ARMY members refuse to leave BTS' side. I absolutely love BTS and KPop now over 9 months after being introduced to them. I did feel very bad when he said that but I am not leaving anytime soon. 

I am really proud of myself to have developed this perspective.

Anyways, after this incident, I put on some light make up and got ready for the presentation. We had a practice round at starting from 4PM. I was very nervous the first time and messed up my speech. But after some guidance from Ms. Martha, I was able to talk perfectly! I gained some amount of confidence after that. 

Then we went to the auditorium, where I also met my mom. I didn't talk to her much tho because I was still nervous and I wanted to practice my speech. Soon, the townhall began and it literally felt like everything zoomed past me until we came to the internship speeches part. I waited for my turn and went. 

And.......

I DID WELL! I have gotten better at making eye contact with people while speaking because I have the whole script memorized. Even though I faltered a bit in the middle, I was able to pick myself up fast when I made eye contact with my encouraging faculty members. I also couldn't help but smile when I saw my mom taking a video of my speech. So in all, it went very well and I am relieved. I even got complimented by the Vice Dean so go me! Also, another good thing that happened was when I was consulting the other Vice Dean whether I should go for placements or higher studies, she told me that she knows that I am a sincere and dedicated child. You have no idea how happy I was to hear that from her. 

Also, my mom looks very proud of me and that is always a good thing.

It is currently time to go to bed and I just finished watching Jin's EatJin VLive. I just want to say that Jin, you're a lovely human being and you're doing so well! I don't think he can express his feelings and thoughts as well as most of the other members can but the man leads by example. He was talking about his solo Epiphany and how the song started with a theme to love oneself and how Jin is the perfect person to portray that because he really does love himself. 

He then proceeded to say that he knows that a lot of people hate them (my heart dropped when he said that because of today's incident) but everyone has the ability to love themselves. He also gave tips to do so. I think that shows how aware Jin is and how he really wants to make a difference by keeping himself and everyone who supports him happy. I respect you Jin.