Nothing Like Us

New start

New York, Brooklyn (after 3 weeks)

Jimin's p.o.v.

I get out of my car and get into my building..
It's been three weeks now that I left Seoul.. there isn't one day.. one moment I don't think about them.. about him..

I had enough money that would easily last me years without me working .. but I don't feel like staying in my apartment.. that's why I bought this coffee and pastry shop.. it's been almost two weeks that I bought it from an old guy who was deep in debt and needed help..
I thought it would be hard to run the shop, but it's going pretty well.. and the atmosphere is very calming and welcoming..
The people who work for me are awfully nice and I think they like me..
No one even knows me here.. even if they'd recognise me.. it would be weird of me to be here.. all by myself
I didn't tell them my real name, instead I told them that my name is Christian..

I walk in my apartment.. it's a big enough apartment for me and when the baby is here... it's not the same at all though..

I miss my old place .. my room with Hobie hyung.. Jin hyung's cooking and being mommy of the house .. kookie spending the night in my room to just talk about random stuff because he's feeling lost or just feels like talking... I miss cuddling up with him and talking till it's morning..
I miss Suga hyung yelling at the maknaes to be quiet or treating us with ice cream after a hard training session .. taking us out to eat so Jin hyung wouldn't have to cook ...
I miss Joonie hyung's tactics to teach us English.. how he tries to do what's best for everyone... the best leader..
I miss having to wake up with Tae and Jungkook snuggling with me after a cold rainy night with thunder..
I miss dancing.. I miss singing..
I miss them.. I miss them all.. I miss my home..
I just want to book the first flight back to Seoul, my home.. eveytime.. but then I remember why I left in the first place..

Sometimes I wonder if I took the right decision. What if I had stayed and faced the consequences...
What if I could have it all and be happy.. with my family.. be Park Jimin..
Every time I think back .. it hits me.. what if I'm wrong?.. what if I'm being selfish.. I don't know what to think..
Is it too late to go back ?... what am I doing?..

I turn on the t.v. and grab some snacks and juice and sit on the couch..
This is how it will be I guess.. it not that bad ..
Oh who am I kidding.. I hate this..

Jungkook, My kookie.. I'm sorry I left you.. you may hate me but it's better than people hating us .. you.. I can't let you or our Bangtan family get hatred because of me..

I don't want to be alone in this.. I don't want to do this alone..
Am I being selfish .. I'm taking away the beautiful moments that this little one inside me is going to give us.. while growing inside me ... all the firsts.. am I wrong?.. should I have told you about this..
I'm sorry kookie.. I miss you.. I really miss you a lot.. I miss my bestfriends.. i miss being with you all.. it's like I took away a whole part of myself while leaving..
I hate what I'm feeling right now..
I don't even know what it is.. is it pain? .. is it regret?.. is it loneliness?.. what is this feeling inside...

I put my hand on my belly.. I don't feel anything yet.. but I know my little Angel is in there.. my belly is getting a little bump which I can feel while I rub it softly.. it's still not noticeable.. I don't know how I'll handle it when it gets noticeable..
I make small circles with my fingers on my belly..
"don't worry baby, appa is right here.. I'll give you the best.. I promise.. you just rest in there till it's time to come, okay sweetheart.. I love you a lot already..."

(( another chapter, OMO.. hope it wasn't that bad.. I'd like to hear from y'all.. leave comments and please give this a like if you liked it.. thank you.. saranghae! ♡))