The Boys: Book of Imagines

Tom| When The Party's Over - Part 2 of 3

Inspired by Billie Eilish's When The Party's Over. Part 2 of Ocean Eyes.

Doesn't he know I'm no good for him? I've learned to lose him, can't afford to love anyone at this moment. Tore my shirt to stop my ex from bleeding. Turns out it was all fake. But nothing ever stopped him from leaving. Like that Halsey song, he let me broken and on the floor. No he flourishes with a better life. Sucking the life out of another person like a leech. It's disgusting, but it's not my problem. Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own. My dad not knowing that I've been out all night. I'm 18 so he wouldn't be as strict as he was when I was 16 but I still feel like I have to have the image of a good daughter.

I could lie, say I like it like that. That I like being rebellious but part of me hates it. I have no idea where my mind is at right now. It's kind of all over the place. Like a pinball machine. The people I hang out with are the ones giving me the hits to keep bouncing around. I know these aren't the people for me. All my other friends left. According to family, that's a normal occurring thing for young adults my age. So I chalk it up to that. Don't want to think of the other reasons why. Mainly because I don't want them to be true. But something is changing. I met someone at one of those parties. He's a really sweet guy and he's always texting me to see how I'm doing. It reminds me that there are better guys out there. I was nervous about our age difference at first but I am 18.

He knows too much already. I'm trying to stand my ground and not cave into the comfort and support. I have no idea if it's genuine or not. I'll only hurt him if he lets me.I'm a walking grenade. I wouldn't be surprised if I explode in his hand. I've hurt enough people already with my actions. He's to good of a person. I don't want to be the reason why he's damaged. I hope to see him tonight. But I'm not going to let myself be bummed out if he's not there. He is famous afterall. Probably on some movie set somewhere or asleep. He sleeps A LOT. sometimes I start to over think about him. What he's doing on set. Is he running in fake horror or making fake love to some girl? That last one always put a twinge of jealousy in me. He's famous and attractive.

There's some night where he'll be on set and I just want to text him "Call me friend but keep me closer. I want a little more than just friends you know? And I'll call you when the party's over if I don't answer when you call." But I never do. No doubt he'd find me obsessed rather than having a crush on him. That's what my ex saw in me. My cousin said that he would just say those things to me to mess with my head. If that's true then he succeeded. The music played loud as i let the mild burning sensation of whiskey go down my throat. I haven't seen him a I'm totally going against what I told myself not to be. But I can't help it. He's bringing something out of me that I don't think I've ever had in me. But nothing is better sometimes. With the reeking scent of alcohol and weed, I want to leave too.

"Yeah, I should probably leave." I say to some girl next to me. I don't even know her an arely know the people here. Why I even came, I have no idea. "Ok." she replied back, clearly blackout wasted. She can't even keep her head up let alone stand still. I make my way through sloshed people who probably didn't even feel me bump into them. Where is the front door? The poor lighting and the fact that I'm 5'3" doesn't help me find my way. I try to get through a group of people when I'm body slammed. I open my eyes after I fall and se a familiar pair of shoes. "Hey... Y/n? Are you ok?" Those brown eyes that I've become familiar with are a shade of blue as the lights strobe around the room.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm ok. It'll hurt more in the morning." Keep your cool, Y/n. "Were you headed home?" He asks. I just nod a little. I have a slight headache coming on. He turns to the group he was talking to then back to me. "Here, let's get you home." My heart fluttered when he gently plac him hand n the lower half on my back. My still slightly teenage mind wanted him to go lower. Once we made it out the door, it's as if the pain of the headache went down. I take a deep breath of the chilly January air. Almost instantly any anxiety or stress I had went away. He drove me home. I watched as the lights of house flew passed us. It was silent. For him it may not have been uncomfortable but for me it was.

"Tom?" I look over at him. "Yeah?" he quickly glanced at me then at the road again. "I don't want to go home. Find someplace private so we can just talk." Without further questioning, he pulls onto a dirt road that leads to some place I don't know. He parked the car at the edge a field and opened the sky light. We lean the chairs back fully. It was silent for a few moments. I take in the constellations. Last time I did this I was high off my ass and the stars were spinning. It was nice to see them still and twinkling. I look over at Tom and see him admiring him too. It made my legs feel like jelly. "I care about you." I blurt out. Immediately I regret opening that door.

Tom looks over at me and smiles. "I know." his smile stays. "I'm also scared. Scared to feel that way again." we both look back up at the stars. "I know that too. I can't blame you for that. The only thing I can do is remind you that I'm not him. I wouldn't be a prick to you the way he was." he placed his hands behind his head. His biceps flexing slightly. It took everything in me not to just hop on him right then and there. But then again I did open that door already and by his actions, he's standing there waiting. "Can I kiss you?" I ask shyly. "Of course." Tom motions for me to come close. What I wasn't expecting was for him to pull me onto his lap.

I look into those beautiful brown orbs, both hands on the sides of his face. He hugs me to close the space. I got sick of waiting. I crashed my lips onto his. His grip got a little tighter on me as the kiss deepened. Butterflies erupt in my stomach a little flicker in my mind wants more. I break the kiss. "What's wrong?" he asks. "Uh nothing it's just, I want so much more. I just, I want us to be on the same page." I say nervously. The things I did with my ex I know won't happen with Tom. He used to make me do things against my will. He would hurt me if I didn't do them. "We're on the same page." he gives me a quick, reassuring kiss. "Ok good. I need more than just verbal reassurance that you're not like him tonight." Tom smiles, "Don't mind if I do." he leans up to kiss me again. Oh hell yes.