When the Stars Align (Anthony Rizzo)

10| What Is Love?

Anthony

"Is it the 29th yet" I ask as we get on the bus that will take us over to Safeco field for what feels like our 100th away game in a row.

"If you ask that question one more time I'm going to hit you so hard that you're not going to wake up until then" Luis Valbuena threatens as he sits behind me. I let out a loud scoff as I fall back into my seat.

"Oh wow, someone didn't drink enough last night" I accuse.

"Or too much" Starlin says as he sits next to me.

The bus takes off and the guys all go on their phones to get ready for the game. Music plays as we ride on over to the ballpark for the second to last game of this long ass away trip. I think we were all ready to go home, but no one more than me.

"So, hows the girl" Starlin asks and I smile really big.

"She's great. She has the day off today and she's volunteering at a summer camp to teach the kiddos about the solar system" I say.

"That is the nerdiest thing I have ever heard you say" he accuses.

"Please don't tell Kelsey that. She thinks I'm smart" I beg.

"Oh Anthony, no one thinks that" he claims and I scoff.

"Wow. And to think I thought we were friends" I pout.

"Oh put that lip away. It's tough love" he promises.

"Yeah. You make it real tough to love you" I mumble.

After about 20 minutes we arrive at the ballpark. We head to the locker room to do our own type of warm up. I sit in my stall and listen to music to loosen up and I nod my head along to the music. I feel my phone vibrate in my hand and I look at the screen. I see a text from Kelsey and I smile really big. She sent me a picture of her and some of the kids along with the sweetest message ever.

Hey Anthony. Just wanted to tell you good luck and kick butt! I can't wait for you to finish the game and then the next one and come home so we can go on another fun date or just hang out at the baseball game. Just wanted to tell you I was thinking of you, like always, and hope you don't miss me too much so you can have fun out there. Isaiah will be watching and he'll make sure to text me every time you get a hit or make a good play. I don't want to keep you too long because I know you're getting ready to play. Just wanted to say good luck and I miss you!

"Did you just get a sexy picture" Starlin asks as he passes by me.

"You wish" I accuse.

"I do wish" he jokes and I snap my head up. "I'm kidding! Please don't kill me" he begs and I roll my eyes.

"It was just a text. A really cute text" I explain.

"You are so gross" he says and I shrug.

"I've never been this into a girl before so I don't know what to tell you. I've never been like this before" I insist.

"Could it be that you're in love" he asks.

"I don't know. I've never been in love before" I shrug and he stops.

"You're 26 and never been in love" he gasps.

"25" I correct.

"Still. That's a bit absurd" he claims.

"I've just never really been into a girl. I've always had a agenda and none of it involved loving a girl. It's not like I went to college to get exposed to those types of relationships and I spent a part of my golden years in the hospital fighting cancer. When I came back I was so strong I didn't want to feel like I needed anybody again. It's scary when you're so reliant on other people to make you happy, to make your world go around" I explain.

"I'm sorry buddy, but that's not what love is about" he claims.

"Then enlighten me" I ask.

"Love isn't safe, it's scary. It's not knowing what comes next but not caring because you get to go through it with her. It's finding peace in another person and knowing that you can find peace together too. It's not even looking at another woman because she isn't your girl. You can't think of anyone else but her. It's waking up and the first thing that comes to mind is her and going to sleep and her being the last thing on your mind. It's being around a bunch of people but she's the only thing you ever see.

That's where people mess up. They think love is sacrificing who they are to become someone else with another person. It's being a better person when their girl is around and not realizing creating that person is who they are expected to become. But its not about all of that, it's about learning things about yourself you wouldn't have known because she pointed it out because she loves you too, and only she sees these things. You don't have to be reliant on her, your world doesn't have to revolve around her. You just have to know that your world is a better place with her in it" he explains.

"Wow... that was beautiful. I can't believe that came out of your mouth" I insist and he laughs.

"Baseball is my one true love and she's broken my heart many times. But I'll always love her" he claims.

"Well she's a lucky girl" I tease.

He goes off to do whatever he does when he's not in game mode or harassing me. I pick up my phone and look at the text I left up. I smile again because he was right, I was over thinking this. I can't sit here and think of what makes me love her or if I do. I have to feel it, and I do.

Thank you baby. I honestly can't wait to get back to Chicago and walk straight into your arms. I know this has been tough, I've never had a reason to miss what I leave behind and now I could just run home so I could be with you. But you're my favorite reason to do anything I do and not being around you had been so hard. I keep wanting to reach out and hope to see you reaching back. I look to the skies and see the beautiful blue sky's but I would rather see them in your eyes. I can't wait to see you again. Until then know that I care about you, a lot, and I hope you're happy. I hope I make you as happy as you make me too.